Saturday, August 4, 2018

A last day with YGM before she moves to Florida







A house and some memories.  YGM reluctantly will leave this house tomorrow, as her husband wants to follow his dreams and move to Florida.  He wants to develop a business focused around helping youngsters develop ethical leadership skills in a camp like setting. Sadly, leadership developers are a dime a dozen, and any specialty he wants to focus on has likely been thought of by others - and resulted in failed businesses.  Since there is no way to convince a person who is a "true believer" in a dream that it may fail, he will likely spend several years chasing that dream until YGM has had enough of this fantasy and has to make some hard decisions of her own.

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For a change, I awakened without an alarm clock today, and was out the door only 15 minutes later than planned. I figured that I'd get out the door by 11 am, and be at YGM's by 1:15 or so - including a stop at Catherine's in Orange, CT.  Unfortunately, with all the traffic on Route 95, this was not to be.  Not only was Route 95 a parking lot, but so was the Merritt Parkway all the way to the New Haven Area.  I ended up arriving at YGM's at 3:15 - a whole 2 hours later than planned.

YGM was unable to go far from the house today. So she took me out to a local pizza joint for a bite to eat before we had to return to her house. This is where she mentioned that she had doubts about her marriage.  If her husband didn't treat her and the children well, she'd have been out the door when he had his delayed onset occurrence of PTSD. She didn't want to say that her husband was taking her away from an island of security she had developed in Connecticut, nor did she focus on this move making it impossible for her to put down roots or develop deeper friendships. But you could easily tell it was so, given how she mentioned people coming by to say goodbye before she left. Eventually, the expected rains started to come, and I had to make my long drive home. So I hugged YGM goodbye and wished her the best, telling her that she always has a bed to camp out on if she makes it up to the NYC area.

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When I got into my car, I received two phone calls which I didn't answer right away.  One was Lili, and the next was GFJ.  Since I didn't have any more minutes left on the phone I usually use, I connected the phone I bought only for Marian Mode use and rarely use. And then, I connected with two people on my long drive home - Lili and the Cat Lady....

As expected, Lili was hemming and hawing about going to her friend's 60th birthday party.  Not only did her friend want everyone to contribute $35 for this party, but Lili also didn't have an appropriate dress to wear to the shindig and this woman would be the only person she knew at the shindig.  (Lili also commented that we'd likely be the only white people there - I wonder if there is some hidden prejudice bubbling out.)  So we'll either go to the party tomorrow, or we'll go shopping.

Next was the Cat Lady.  She talked a lot about what was going on with her acquaintances, and then asked me about people who know me as Marian vs. people who know me as Mario. She wondered about the people who have met me in both modes (such as both Vicki, Vicki #2, and Maria) and how they felt about me and my male or female presentations. I noted that my friends tend to have a prejudice towards seeing me in the presentation in which they first met me. And where they haven't expressed a preference, their significant others have expressed a presence.  I think that the Cat Lady is trying to build up a better understanding of what it is like being transgender, and I wonder whether she is trying to figure out whether it makes sense to risk a romance with someone like me.  (She's a very pragmatic person, and I think she could be trying to determine a risk/reward ratio for being with me based on conversations we have had regarding relationships.)

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I figured that I'd pick up some Wonton Egg Drop soup when I arrived in Croton, and GFJ called as I arrived at the Chinese takeout joint. So I picked up my soup (the large size), brought it home, finished it, then called GFJ.  Sometime on Sunday, she'll be coming over, and I expect to have a nice delayed weekend with her....





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