Saturday, August 11, 2018

A conversation on the way home from GFJ's a few weeks ago



Sooner or later, finances permitting, I intend to have surgery on the lower part of my face to make the face look more androgynous.  This way, I would be able to "pass" more effectively when presenting as female, while leaving the option open (as long as I need it) to present as male. Until then, I'll have pictures taken of me where my face makes me look like a man in a dress.

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The other day, I was driving home from GFJ's house.  I called Lili to see what was up with her. She recounted a call she had with her friend, Lisa. And Lili remembered why she originally broke up with her then friend and went separate ways.  Although I have a thicker skin than Lili, I was offended.  Offended, not for what Lisa said about me - but offended because of what Lisa said about the wedding.

Shortly after the wedding, Lili asked me what I felt about the shindig.  And she asked me to answer honestly.  I know to always use tact when answering Lili, as her opinions about things can and will change from day to day. But in regard to the wedding, I could rate it a 95 on a scale of 100 - pretty damned good for what Lili, Brett and Jasmine were trying to accomplish. My one negative comment was very minor - people coming from NYC by mass transit did not know how to contact a cab company to get them from the station to the wedding venue.  If this was my only negative, Lili did a great job, and has nothing to be ashamed of.

When Lisa called Lili, she decided to criticize the wedding.  Lisa said that I was eating everything in sight.  To a food addict who is honest with herself about her addiction, I can accept this stinging comment in stride. But it pissed Lili off.  The only thing good that Lisa had to say about the food served at the wedding was that they served wild salmon for a main course. (I had the prime rib, and loved it. No one at my table had any complaints about anything at the wedding.) Lisa criticized the appetizers, the first, second, main courses and the dessert. Of course, Lili mentioned that Lisa wrote her gift check out at the last minute - as if Lisa was paying what she thought the shindig was worth to her.

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Lisa is the type of person who doesn't like putting in any effort into her relationships.  She lives 75 miles away from her husband during the week, and doesn't miss him in her life.  She, like her sister, expects others to make 90% of the effort to have relationships with her. And this is a turn off to most people.

You might be wondering - why am I writing about this person?  Well, I care for Lili as a friend, and don't like to see her hurt. In this case, I was unable to do much more for Lili than to listen to her vent for a little while on my drive home. And this makes me a little sad....









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