Thursday, June 28, 2018

Hump Day - A relief for most folks. But for me, just another day.



The above shot was taken on one of my later trips to California, and one can see a newfound sense of confidence in who I am in my posture.  It's been a long while since I've worn this dress. It does nothing for my figure, and I never felt that feminine when wearing it.  Looking back, I think that part of the problem was that I had not yet developed a sense of personal style. Women are much freer to use color in their clothing palette than men are, and I was still thinking in terms of a muted palette.  Although I have developed a better sense of style, I still feel uncomfortable with things that are needlessly embellished.

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Most people in the "working world" feel that Wednesday is the middle of the week.  Get through Wednesday, and you've gotten past the worst of the week. In the picture above, I just got past the hump of getting out and about in the world as Marian. And by doing so, I conquered one of the biggest fears stopping me from being my authentic self.

Several years later, and I am very comfortable with who I am when presenting as Marian. Like most cisgender women, I have feel that I have problem areas with my body. My shoulders are too broad, my hips are too narrow, my butt isn't big enough, and so on. I've internally realized that these are the typical complaints a cisgender female would have, and deal with these issues accordingly.

Today, I had one thing on my schedule - going to the GLBT center and doing my weekly volunteer stint.  After waking up around 8:30, making breakfast, surfing the web a little, I decided to lay down in bed - and didn't get moving until 1:30.  And if I had my druthers, I'd have given in to being lethargic and stayed in bed all day. But I didn't, so I drove into the GLBT center and arrived at 4 pm.

Most of the time at the GLBT center, easy work is assigned to me. Today, I never got around to doing any work.  I got involved in a long conversation with two people there who found what I was saying educational.  (Whether or not it really was educational is something else.) But this took up the 2 hours I spent there, and I decided to get out, so that I could have the option of driving back to Catherine's and buying the blue dress I skipped over the other day.

The drive out of the GLBT center was easy, but the potential rain storm convinced me to go inside for the night.  (I can always go to Catherine's on the way to YGM's tomorrow.) So, it was a relaxed ride home, and a relaxed evening spent at home....






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