Thursday, May 3, 2018

Finally - A day I can go out as Marian!

For the past 13 weeks, my basic schedule had me going out and about as Marian on Thursdays and on Saturday Mornings, with other days available based on Mario's schedule. Any time I needed to be seen as Mario took away from time spent as Marian. And this schedule is likely to end with the end of the semester at Mercy College.

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Whenever I visited family, had a doctor's appointment, met my accountant, or stayed the weekend with GFJ, I'd be spending this time as Mario.  Being unemployed, this is not a problem, as I can schedule whole days as Mario or as Marian, with small amounts of time at the beginning or end of the say spent as the alternate persona.  So, if GFJ were to come down on the weekend, she would be gracious and give me time to change into Mario for the rest of the weekend. Alternatively, if I had a morning doctor's appointment, I could switch into Marian Mode once done with the doctor.

I've been out as Mario since Saturday, and I've been itching to become Marian again. In weather that has come close to the 70 degree mark, it's much more comfortable to put on a nice dress than to stay in trousers. The other day, Lili "pestered" me again about prioritizing hair transplants, so that I can wear my natural hair when out and about as Mario. This is on my list of things to take care of, but it is not something high enough on the list while I don't have a high enough income to replenish my savings.

Yesterday, when I chatted with the Cat Lady, she asked me about Lili's prodding me about hair transplants. And then she asked me whether I identify as Mario or Marian while at home. This is a good question, but thinking about it, I'd have to answer that I identify both as Marian and as Mario. It's a strange thing for me to think about, as I don't focus on my gender when I'm at home.  It's something I think about when presenting myself to the world, and it's on the outside where I want to be seen as Marian.

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Even though I had things I should do as Mario today, I didn't bother getting showered and dressed until it didn't make any sense to go out as Mario.  So I applied my makeup, put on a dress, and out the door I went to Stew Leonard's.  I figured that I'd get the chance to walk around a little and then refresh items (such as eggs) that "vanished" from my ice box over the past couple of weeks.

On the way over to Stew's, my brother called. And he told be a business story that I'm not at liberty to relate in this forum. All I can say is that big business can be done honorably, while people who deserve to get screwed get screwed.  Hopefully, my brother will be able to go back to working "normal" hours soon, as the extra work he's been doing has been taking its toll on him.

Arriving at Stew's, I felt glad to be off the road for a little while.  The fog was so thick, that one had to cut it with a knife and fork.  The sportscasters covering the game at Yankee Stadium were joking about the upper deck being shrouded in fog, saying if a ball is hit there, is it a home run, if no one can see where it lands?  But back to Stew's - I was able to get out of there for a reasonable amount of money, and was back at home before 8:00 pm.


  1. I find one of the interesting dichotomys of our dual nature is the ability to exist in both modes at the same time. We are one person with different sides to our personnas. I am sure that you can appreciate the incongruity of you being Marian in the car driving while talking to your brother. To the same extent that you picture in your mind what he looks like as you talk on the phone I am sure that he has a picture in his mind of what you look like as you and he chat on the phone....except in his case the picture in his mind would not be correct.

  2. Pat -

    That's why I never answer the phone if he calls during game night. If it's an emergency, I know he'll call several times and I can use the bathroom as an excuse for not immediately returning his call.

    On my end, I don't visualize him - especially while driving. To do so would take up too much mental horsepower when I'm trying to do something more important - such as focusing on the road.