Sunday, May 13, 2018

After some cleanup, the mess has been pared down a little


Although the coffee table is still a mess, you can see that the mess I once had around this chair is now gone.  What is in back of the chair is much more organized, and a lot of stuff has been prepared for another charity run.

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Soon, GFJ will be coming over to spend the night. She would have come over last night, but she had a property walk through to take care of in the morning to prepare for the property's sale.

A divorce is a terrible thing to go through, and severing the financial ties that bind two people can be a big pain in the ass.  In GFJ's case, there are two or three corporate entities, a house on a large plot of land, and a small building in town to be liquidated. This resulted in a time consuming process which she will be driving to separate her percent of the split from her ex's percentage of the split.

Compared to what GFJ is going through, my widowhood was a breeze.  It was easy for me to present paperwork that showed I was the rightful heir to her estate.  It was easy for me to get rid of clothes I'd no longer need. And it was easy to refurnish my apartment in a way that fit my needs. I only had to see a lawyer once - and that was before my wife passed away.

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Lately, I've been in the process of doing an overdue elimination of unneeded stuff from my apartment. The occasional exhibitions of completely messy rooms are examples of incomplete tasks being done at a slow pace. This is like my transition, as I've been in no hurry to make a permanent change that can't be reversed.  I have to be sure that this is what I want. And to do this, I must slowly clear out the clutter in my mind to determine what I truly desire.  Like having a clean apartment, transition in late middle age requires much examination, so that the needed things are properly separated from the unneeded things. With a cluttered room, I might ask: "Do I really need this chair?  Do I really need this table?" With a cluttered mind, I might ask: "What are the things you like about being Marian or Mario, and can you have them in the other persona?  What things do you need from each persona?"

Getting to a comfortable place requires much more thought than one might expect.  To do that, one needs time.  And I'm taking advantage of the time I have while I have it.


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