Saturday, January 6, 2018

The stuff that dreams are made of

A Dingus - That's what Humphrey Bogart called this object.  It represents something much more than dreams of wealth. It represents mankind's desire to improve its lot by pursuing its dreams and making them real.

In my reading of transgender fantasy stories, a common theme emerges: a transformation of a male into either a physical female, a social female, or some other type of person who is devoid of masculinity. The reality of being transgender is so unlike this in its nature. I've found that it is more of an embrace of the feminine already within the individual.

With the above being said, I feel that a transgender female should do as much as possible to present as appropriately as possible feminine image whenever she is out in public. This means that a transwoman should always dress properly for every occasion, and err on being slightly too conservatively dressed for occasions. She should also work on developing appropriate feminine speech patterns, as well as learning how to use a more feminine vocabulary when speaking.  And, she should try to blend in with cisgender females as much as possible, so that she does not stand out as anything but a typical female.

You may wonder why I have an emphasis on authenticity of presentation.  Since I've been going out in public as Marian, I know that there are two things that give me away as being transgender: my voice and my size. Both of these things can be worked on, and I can eventually sound and appear close enough to my goal presentation that I could be accepted as female in 99% of all social interactions.  But, when I see others with poor presentations, it casts doubt on my presentation and on how I am treated by others.

Why do others' poor presentations cast doubt on my presentation and acceptance?  Well, when one sees something out of sort on a transwoman, the person seeing the transwoman might start to think that transwomen as a group are to be taken as men in dresses. For those of us who take our images seriously, this is a problem for us. Yet, it doesn't cause many problems for those transwomen who are comfortable with presentations which make their "transness" obvious to all in their interactions with others.

In the end, we have to live with ourselves.  I want to be seen as if I were a cisgender woman, and not someone who had to transform herself.  Am I trying to fool myself about what is realistically possible?  Who knows?  I just want to fit in wherever I go, and not have my past get in the way of where I want to go in life.

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