Monday, January 15, 2018
Quickie: Thoughts about body image
Lately, when I go to look at myself in the mirror, I keep wishing that I had a woman's hips and fat development in the area. There's not much that can be done about that right now. But when I lose weight, I will need to wear hip pads when in women's clothes to create the illusion that my body is better proportioned than it is at that time.
If I had gone on puberty blockers 50 years ago and then on estrogen, I would not have had to deal with a masculine developed body. I also would not have developed many of the sexually dimorphic characteristics that identify my body as having been assigned male at birth.
Some of the things I wish I had would be a woman's hips, her narrow wrists, ankles, and neck, and of course, her breasts. Of all of these, the hips and breasts would be most important to me. Although I'd be tall for a woman, I'd still be in the normative range for females.
Even if I had the "Correct" body for a female, would I have the right internal image of myself? All too many women are uncomfortable in their own skins. They have been taught that they have to look young, and appear as if they never had a life. For example, many are embarrassed about having a post-pregnancy belly with stretch marks. I feel that these are the marks that a woman has had a full life. In this way, having been raised as a male has been an asset to me. But as I progress along the path to my feminine self, will I become insecure? Or, will I retain the typically masculine advantage of having a positive image of an imperfect body? Only time will tell.