Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Having to schedule weekends with care

Years ago, I would key all instances of courses I wanted to take onto punch cards and feed them into a computer program of my own design. After a minute or two of number crunching, I would receive a chart of schedules in decreasing optimal use of my time. From there, I would go back to the registration area, drop in my cards, and not go through the angst most students went through before classes started.

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What does college class scheduling have to do with my life today?

Well, I've been juggling my time in Marian mode with time where I'm expected to appear as Mario. For the past several years, Thursday nights have been reserved for game nights presenting as Marian. But weekends have often been something else, as GFJ expects to see me as Mario. Days during the week have usually been blocked out as either Marian days or Mario days, depending on who people expect to see that day.

There are some days for which I have nothing scheduled. If I choose to go out on these days, I usually choose to go out as Marian, except when harsh weather makes it more convenient to go out as Mario. For example, on a warm, sunny day, I am much more comfortable going out as Marian as long as the air conditioning is on in my car. However, when it is snowing outside and I have to dig my car out of the snow, I prefer to go out as Mario.

Today was one of those days where I had nothing planned and the weather would likely determine how I would present when going out.  When I awoke, the weatherman was predicting 2"-4" of snow to fall, starting around 2 in the afternoon. This prediction changed, and the snow was expected to come overnight.  Cisgender women would dress for days like this in jeans. But I have yet to perfect a feminine appearance while wearing something other than a dress or a skirt. So I chose to spend another day as Mario, as much as Marian needed to come out for a change.

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If weekday scheduling sounds bad, then weekend scheduling is worse.  I assume that I'll be spending the better part of Saturday and all of Sunday with GFJ, with a possible departure from her place on Monday morning. This leaves Friday nights available for me to present as Marian or as Mario, depending on who I'll be seeing that evening. If I see BXM (or someone else who knows me as Marian), I will be in a female presentation. But if I see the Cat Lady, I'll be in a masculine presentation. If GFJ is not available for any reason, I will usually book that extra day or two to present as Marian. Now that Speech Therapy is starting up again, GFJ isn't that happy not being able to spend Friday nights with me, as she'd have to deal with seeing Marian get dressed for the morning. So she begrudgingly accepts that I will not be coming up to see her until Saturday afternoon. But this makes it easy for me to see the Cat Lady, or other people I want to see on Friday nights.

Soon, I will be taking advantage of a weekend and scheduling both a museum night with my niece AND a theater day with HWV.  GFJ will not be as happy as she would like, but I will try to see her that Friday for dinner and a movie.  This way, we get to see each other for a while. But the big problem will be when I go on my cruise. GFJ and I will not be able to see each other for two straight weekends and I'll have to make sure that I see her as soon as possible upon my return.

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Could things be worse?  Could they be better?  Yes and Yes.  Right now, I'm managing things, and I am still able to live in two worlds. This will change in the future. Until it does, I'll continue on this path, as there is nothing keeping me from enjoying life in two genders on the near horizon.

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