Thursday, March 23, 2017

Back to class

As I've previously mentioned, I'm taking a PMP exam prep course in NYC.  This is the entryway to the building where the class is held, and its exterior and lobby are well worth seeing if in the neighborhood.

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I find it amazing that GFJ wanted to talk with me the other day, after saying that she didn't want to talk for at least a couple of weeks. But I'm slowly getting used to not having her around (though I strongly miss her touch) on the weekend. I'm thinking of visiting people I normally wouldn't have the chance to visit because I now have my weekends free.

The other day, I had the pleasure of having a German dinner with the "Cat Lady" from Jersey. Yes, she runs on a little at the mouth, but I think the real deal breaker for me (at a very early moment) would be my allergy to long haired cats that developed after my last cat died. I am not yet ready to pursue a potential relationship, but the wisdom of not slamming doors may have worked for me.  This will be ill advised once I know someone is committed to me. But GFJ and I never stated what we wanted from our relationship, never stated what our long term goals were, and never dealt with the relationship as something other than one of convenience. So, unless GFJ and I have that long, hard conversation and come to an understanding agreeable to both of us, I have no guilt in seeing other women on a casual basis. With all of that being said, I am not yet ready to close the door on GFJ, because we get along so well. Sooner or later, we will need to have a hard conversation which will determine whether we are a real couple, or just friends.

- - - - - -

Getting my taxes done is always a headache for me, as I have to drive down to my tax preparer (a family friend) in Queens. If I had gotten out of the house early enough today, I'd have been able to drop off my paperwork AND still make it to my class on time.  Instead, I barely got to the train station on time to find a metered parking spot (not easy, when snow is plowed into many of them), pay for parking, and then my ticket before the train arrived. Luckily, the trains were running slow today, and it was several minutes late.

Patty and I had arranged to meet at Grand Central for a bite to eat. Unfortunately, she was caught on a delayed train, and got to the dining court as I was finishing my meal. (Given the choice, I'll skip Shake Shack's BBQ fries from now on - the melted cheese and BBQ sauce ruins the potatoes, and the only thing good I have to say for this dish was the crumbled bacon on top. But I digress....) Patty got her order, and we were able to chat for 45 minutes before walking over to class.

I should take good pictures of the lobby of the French Building while I attend class there, as it is a building I wouldn't mind working in if I had the chance.  As it stands, Patty and I will be there another 8 times - and I hope she is able to show pictures of this place to her husband.

After class, I walked her to the subway, and then got on the commuter train that would take me home. I then had a text exchange with GFJ, and one of the questions she asked was if Patty was with me on the train home. (I've mentioned that Patty lives in Queens several times over the past couple of years, so I expect that GFJ would remember this.)  And later on, she mentioned that we would have to have a conversation about staying over with me again. So I know that she hasn't ruled out a relationship yet. But what would her "must haves" be like?  I know I can't give up being Marian.  Therefore, to have a relationship, we'd have to find a happy medium - something which may or may not be possible.

- - - - - -

As I write this, I do not have anything booked for the weekend.  I have the option of going to the local GLBT Center's Spring Fling - and get in for free, as I am a volunteer. So I might do that on Saturday night. But I haven't seen YGM in ages, and may want to take a drive out to see her on Sunday.

Seeing YGM would be a treat. But I am thinking of coupling it with a night away from home, giving me the opportunity to use the hotel's pool (and wearing the swimsuit I bought for the cruise I never took), as well as going to the casino the next day. This is not a likely event, but one that is now possible given where I stand with GFJ.

I'll keep you informed on what I do.  For now, I'll be enjoying more time as Marian than I planned....

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Needing to get away - but with whom?

Note: This entry was written before some recent events with GFJ.  Now that things have changed in my life, I'm posting it just to illustrate my thought processes.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Most of us need to get away now and then. But I have an unusual problem: Lili wants to get away - somewhere and anywhere, but I know that GFJ won't be happy unless I get away with her first. And things have been getting in the way of the two of us getting away together.

- - - - - -

In many ways, it is easier to get away with GFJ than it is with Lili.  GFJ is more flexible int he things she does, in part, because she is interested in more things in life. Lili is easier to vacation with, as once she is inside of a ship's casino, she is occupied for hours - and I can do what I please.

I enjoy cruising with Lili, in spite of her little quirks. When not gambling, she often needs constant attention. But when she's occupied, I can get around to doing things such as catching up on my reading, as there's not much else to do on a ship. But if I were land based in my travels, I prefer the company of GFJ, as she seems to have a wider interest in things.

This leaves me with a question: Who would I prefer to travel with?  The answer depends on whether I want to travel as Mario or Marian.  GFJ would only travel with Mario.  Lili would only travel with Marian. The focus of the question here does not involve a preference for my gender presentation as much as it determines which presentation I'll be making.

- - - - - -

GFJ and I have gone away for three weekends: two of them have been in Atlantic City, and the other was in Rochester.  Lili and I have gone on two cruises together. But now, being unable to eat to avoid her feelings, she might be a very different person with whom to go on a cruise.  I'd like to get away with GFJ before going anywhere with Lili. I have to put my relationship with her first. But, I've been putting off travel with Lili for too long - even though it has been for reasons outside of my control.

So I'm posed with a question or two: How do I convince GFJ that it is time to take a couple of days away somewhere? And then, where can Lili and I go that will be fun for both of us?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

As you can see, I tried to put GFJ first.  And now, Lili is having to deal with many of the same issues I dealt with in a relationship with GFJ. After Judy Duty ends, I figure that I will spend a couple of days away from home somewhere, and get out and about as Marian. I need to get away, and if I can afford to do so, I will do so.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Monday, Monday.... and I wish it were Wednesday already.

Today was going to be a busy day. Not only did I have to reschedule an appointment with the Department of Labor due to a conflict with Jury Duty, but I had to pick up my second cell phone from the shop in Poughkeepsie.  If you think I was having a busy day, GFJ had to empty her car out of the stuff she knows she'll need, have her car towed to Kingston, and then get a rental - which will be sitting in her garage during tomorrow's snow storm.

- - - - - -

This was not an easy day to get moving.  I had fallen asleep the night before, as soon as I got home from Long Island. (I had visited the Museum of Food and Drink in Brooklyn, then visited both the family homestead and my father in his nursing home, and it was a long day.) After 3 hours of sleep, I was awake for another 4-5 before falling out again.  In short, I didn't sleep well, and I was feeling it.

Before getting moving, I called the department of labor and rescheduled what I expect to be my last appointment with them. Once I mentioned Jury Duty to the receptionist, the lady had to look at her "cookbook" to figure out what to do about me.  Hopefully, after she set my appointment to this Thursday that all will be right with my last 2 or 3 unemployment insurance payments.

- - - - - -

I got dressed (as Mario) and out the door I went.  It was off to Poughkeepsie for shopping (which I didn't find what I wanted - mail order will help me make do), and then to the repair shop.  For the life of this man, he (and his crew in California) coudn't fix the phone. He offered me a partial refund (I know I could have gotten more) which I accepted, and then I went to Walmart to pick up a new phone for my "Marian" line.

After a minor glitch in the sales process (which I found out when trying to activate the phone) that cause me to return to Walmart for a phone exchange, I was able to transfer service to the new phone - AND finally send messages and make phone calls to people who know me only as Marian.

At this point, I sent some messages to RO and YGWM to say that I was still alive and to see how they were doing.  Hopefully, we'll be able to catch up with each other soon.  But with tomorrow's storm coming, it'll be after shoveling out at least 18" of snow....

Monday, March 20, 2017

I could have sent in the form to have Jury Duty postponed

Most of you can guess how I feel about Jury Duty.  I could have bailed out on service for a few months, but I'd rather get it out of the way now - while commuting on the NYC Subway during rush hour isn't intolerable.

The problem with jury service is the location. The district court is in Lower Manhattan - the cesspool of NYC commutation on a busy day. What makes it worse is that I'd have to take the overcrowded Lexington Avenue line and be uncomfortable for the entire ride downtown. Sadly, this court is located near other court facilities (State and City), and like businesses of a kind tend to concentrate near each other.

- - - - - -

Jury service is going to cause problems for me in many ways.  I need more sleep than I usually get when I worked downtown, and have a hell of a hard time getting up in the morning. Trying to stay awake during any service will be hard for me, as it is designed to be a totally passive role. The only time jurors have any activity or control over their time is when the case is in the hands of the jurors. And this passivity can and will put me to sleep when I'm sleep deprived.

The next problem is the length of the commute.  In my last job, it took me about 2 hours to get from my door to my desk. Given the walking I expect to be doing, I expect the commute length will be the same (give or take a few minutes). I will not be able to have a social life for the life of service. And this sucks.

Now, I am addicted to my cell phone for information. I don't mind turning it off. But I do mind being told not to bring it with me, so that I can use it when not in active jury service. This is a great imposition for many people, as they need to be able to be in touch with others on an asynchronous basis.

- - - - - -

Being unemployed with no nibbles, I have no problems about serving. It's just the inconvenience of service that is the problem for me. I am taking a PMP Prep class, and I know that my study time will be affected. But if I were to be called for a case that could go on for months and could result in sequestration (as my father almost had to deal with when they tried a notorious "Dapper Don"), I'd make myself out to be the most biased person in the world, just to get off the jury.  (There is a limit to how much of my life I'll let the government take from me.) Hopefully, my upcoming service will not pose unreasonable demands on my life...

What I find interesting is that my service is supposed to start on a Thursday.  When I was called for a local court, they brought in 50+ of us and selected 6 (with 2 alternates) before dismissing the rest of us.  And this took place on a Monday morning. I wonder whether this seemingly unusual schedule is to find out things about the jurors before assigning them to cases.

- - - - - -

A while back, one attorney who reads this blog made soft criticism in regard to me wanting to get out of jury service. It's not that I mind serving on a jury. It's because of all the headaches they put people through when they are called upon to serve.

Years ago, I dated a woman who made me look thin. (I never should have dated her, but that's another story.)  She hated the idea of jury duty, and would do whatever she could do to bail out on her duty to society. (My ex girlfriend was of Italian background, and she was prejudiced against almost anyone of color.) She was called to serve in the Bronx (near Yankee Stadium) and figured that she'd ask for a postponement, then get lost in the system. Well, the friendly clerk helped her records get lost in the system, and she was never called again. With the exception of prejudice, we share a common problem - transportation issues make it difficult for us to get to the courts. She could never commute on the subway because of her health. Whereas, I dread being packed like a sardine for any amount of time, and dread the lethargy that comes when I can't be active.

- - - - - -

In the end, I support Jury Trials.  Unlike my ex girlfriend, I do not think that jurors are people too stupid to be doing anything else. I just think it's a necessary evil we must endure. I only wish that it was designed more with the comfort and convenience of the juror in mind, instead of the legal process being conducted by judges, lawyers, and other court personnel.

PS: I had a complication to take care of - Unemployment wants to meet with me on one of the days I'll be at Jury Duty.  I guess I'll have to deal with this paperwork headache as well.

PPS: I looked at NYS's guide for Unemployment Insurance claimants, and found out that I'm still eligible to collect UI while on Judy Duty.  Now to see if I can get the appointment rescheduled....

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Quickie: The bonds of friendship

I spoke with GFJ last night, and found out a little more about things.  It seems like her friend did start to talk, and things got back to GFJ about the OKC ads. It doesn't pay to go into our conversation, save that I did an honest "Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa." And we kept talking for a long while afterwards about the topics we usually talk about. But it goes to show that after a point, one should make sure disconnect with one's fears and march into the future without a safety net.

- - - - - -

We all have close friends who want to look out for us. It's important to have them, as no person can live in isolation. I've talked about Lili's issues, but I accept her with all her flaws because she's a friend, as Vicki accepts me because I'm her friend.

Unlike family, we get to pick and choose our friends. Many of the friendships we have are with people who we've known for years.  We feel an intimacy with them that allows to pick up and resume - even after years have gone by. Some of our friendships are born in the heat of battle.  Men might bond with other men with whom they ave been partnered with, such as policemen, firemen, and the military. Women may bond with other women to deal with stressors in their lives, such as raising children, divorce and widowhood. And these bonds are often stronger than that between spouses.

- - - - - -

It only makes sense that I, as Marian, develop friendships. As the old phrase goes: "No Man is an Island."  And that's an important thing for all of us to be aware of these days.

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Some thoughts on GFJ, then Mexican dinner with the gals

Last night I got a message from GFJ saying that I could call her late in the evening.  Given that I was tired and not wanting to say anything rash, I decided not to call her. This morning. I sent her an email saying that I had a splitting sinus headache the night before and asked how she was doing. I figured that this would be enough of an opening for her to contact me, and yet not make it sound that I was desperate.

I have no idea of what she wanted to talk about.  Was she lonely?  Did she want to shut down all communications? Did she want to say that she thought about things I said and wanted to talk about them?  At this time, I do not know, and am not sure if I care. I'm not the type of person who falls in love easily, and I think I have done so maybe three times in my life. So I don't want to be in a position where this woman could break my heart again.

With the above being said, I think my readers may begin to understand why I am not looking for new relationships - as Lili would have me do.  In a conversation WDJ and I recently had, she noted that companionship was much more important than sex. (What else does a couple do in the other 23 1/2 hours in the day? 😀) And I am of a similar mind, as I enjoy a person's touch more than the sexual act.

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Like many widows, I'm finding that I enjoy the company of women more as friends. And unlike a typical cisgender man, I think if given the choice, would rather be with a good group of female friends on a regular basis, than to have mediocre sex on a regular basis. (Don't read anything into GFJ's sexual capabilities or skills here. I should get a prescription for the "little blue pill" to have a better sex life.)

So it's not surprising for me, as a transgender female, to try and go to as many women's meetups as possible. And tonight, I went to one of those meetups....

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With the snow that was expected today, I wasn't sure if tonight's meetup was being held.  Like Croton, White Plains didn't get that much snow and the roads were safe to drive on. So the meetup was on for this evening.

I was one of 10 ladies who met at Mariachi Loco, and got there a smidgen late - as usual.  But I wasn't the last person to arrive. This restaurant, located in a strip mall off to the side of a larger strip mall, was very comfortable, save for one thing - the cold air kept coming in whenever someone entered or left the restaurant.

As you can tell, the portions are reasonably large, and well priced.  I had the Chicken Mole Poblano (pictured above) with a large glass of Sangria, and got out of the restaurant with a bill of $34 (incl. Tax and Tip).  The woman sitting next to me had the Chicken Quesadilla, and she was surprised how large it was - and ended up taking more than half of this dish home with her.

The one thing I had a problem with in this restaurant was one thing that most people would have liked - the strolling guitar singer.  He sang all the typical "classics", and was good.  But his voice carried so much, that it was hard to talk with the women sitting at the table with me. So this is not a joint to go to when one wants a subdued romantic evening with someone special. Instead, it is a place to go to with friends, when one wants to have a good Mexican dinner.

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As much as I'd have liked to be chatting at the other end of the table, I know that the two regulars there will be back on a regular basis.  So I'll catch up with them next time.  Yes, the evening ended up too quickly. But it allowed me to pick up some sour cream at the store down the hill, and will allow me to enjoy some quesadillas of my own soon....

Friday, March 17, 2017

Alone again, naturally

Gilbert O'Sullivan - Remember him?  He is noted for having one of the saddest songs to come to the top of the American charts.  And it was his most famous hit that came to mind today, as I no longer had GFJ to talk with.

The last time I felt this way was a little while after my wife died.  It was not the presence of her in my life that was important, it was the knowing that she was there for me when needed that was important.  As Neil Sedaka sang: "Breaking up is hard to do."

- - - - - -

Right now, Lili is a little pissed off at me.  I couldn't just drop everything to go away with her. When I mentioned that the following weekend was available, she said she couldn't - her boyfriend would be over.  And I don't think she understands why I didn't drop everything to be with her when GFJ was in my life.

- - - - - - 

I had arranged to meet Vicki #2 a few days ago, and I was glad to see her today.  It seems that her polyamorous marriage to her girlfriend is going to happen soon, and it's going to be a very nice event.  I only wish I could attend.  I'd love the excuse to get dressed up for that event!

We discussed many things including my relationships, Lili, and other friends, and then discussed her family life in limited detail.  Given what they are going through, Vicki may need to get a more traditional job soon. Hopefully, this will not need to be the case for a long while, as I know she enjoys what she does for work.

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When I got home, I was "assaulted" by a call from an irate neighbor.  It seems that her neighbor is disturbing her.  She has no proof of his alleged actions, and won't bother reporting this disturbing activity to the police.  If she won't do this, there is nothing that can be done - the other neighbor is also a co-op shareholder and also has rights that we must respect.

Ah, the joys of being a co-op board member....

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PS: Around midnight, GFJ sent me a text saying that if I was still awake and wanted to call her, that I could. I was too tired at the moment to talk with her.  But I might do so tomorrow.

Thursday, March 16, 2017

A day of rest - again.

This was a day that I didn't want to get up, didn't want to get dressed, and didn't want to go out.  Yes, you could say that I was a bit depressed over breaking up with GFJ, but it was more than that. I hadn't eaten much in the last couple of days, and I know that this had something to do with how I was feeling.  Add to this the excessive warmth in this apartment, and it was easy for me to justify staying in bed.

There was one catch to this.  Wednesday's schedule calls for me to go into NYC to attend a PMP certification class. And I could not justify missing the class. But I was saved by the bell. I should say that I was saved by the telephone's ring and an email I received early in the afternoon. My class was cancelled for today, with a make-up class to be held the week after class was originally scheduled to end, as the teacher was sick with the flu.

So I didn't bother to get dressed.  About an hour after receiving the email and phone message, Patty called to confirm that class was really cancelled. Her email was hacked recently, and she isn't trusting things she can't verify on her own.  We chatted a bit, and she told me the following story of confusion:

  1. Patty's family has not yet been able to sell off her late mother's home in Fishkill. So Patty and her husband often use the apartment when they visit her sister, or when she takes care of errands up this way.
  2. Patty owns a VW and a Lexus. Both are very comfortable cars, and are perfect for a middle aged couple with pet(s).
  3. Patty often uses a hairdresser in Fishkill, instead of one closer to her home in Queens.
Patty scheduled the following things for Tuesday/Wednesday:
  1. Dinner with her sister and her family.
  2. Car service on the VW
  3. Visit to hairdresser.
Guess what happened?  

Patty and Steve drove from Queens and were in Fishkill when Steve goes: "Oh Oh" and tells her that something is very wrong, but he is not upset.

Patty asks: "What's Wrong?"

Steve replies: "We're in the Lexus.  We have VW service scheduled for the morning."

Patty ended up having to reschedule car service for next week. And we agreed that if she is driving down from Fishkill, she will pick me up and we can get a bite to eat before class starts.

You'll note that I said nothing about breaking up with GFJ. I'll get around to that when we meet in person. But I do find it interesting that I am still included in GFJ's Facebook posts (via Messenger). She still finds it worthwhile to send me posts that she finds interesting.

Later on in the day, Lili called. She wants to do something this weekend - and I see no reason not to do so anymore. My only requirement - if we're going to a casino, I want to be able to go to a swimming pool at the associated hotel, or be able to study for my PMP prep class. She still subtly is prodding me to go out and date, although I keep telling her that I'm not going to rush things. It is more important for me to process my feelings than to mask them again with food or with a substitute person. It's not in my interest to gain more weight, and it's not in my interest to have a ricochet romance.

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Quickie: Sooner or later, I expected this to happen

It was bound to happen.  I have always been honest with GFJ about being transgender since our second date, and she has accepted this as a risk. Today, the hammer dropped, and now I have to figure out how to live without GFJ in my life.

If you remember, I mentioned that one of her friends saw my OK Cupid ad, and she promised that she'd say nothing about it to GFJ.  (I believe that she said nothing, so let's not explore that path.) But another one of her friends saw my private Facebook page via one of FB's friend suggestions. And this friend relayed a rumor which GFJ picked up on. Then GFJ dropped the hammer today, on the phone, because she couldn't do it in person.

We talked a bit, and as we ended the call, I could hear her cry.  If I weren't the person in the middle of things, I'd have tried to be there for her. But, since I am, all I can do is delete her phone numbers from my car's speed dial, toss out what little of her stuff remains here, and move forward with my life. Before the call ended, I mentioned that I have no problems with her friends knowing about me being transgender, and that I understood the fears she had about her family knowing about me being transgender. I just asked that when she discusses this with her friends, that she note that I was always honest with her about being TG, and was always there for her when I was needed.

Although she could change her mind (as she did once before, early in the relationship), I will not count on this. Instead, I'll wait a while, and then pursue other options. In about 2 months, I'll open up the OKC ads again, and see what happens. But I won't pursue anything actively.

Life's a bitch, but it could be much worse.

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Quickie: Lunch with GFJ

Even though GFJ was still getting over a cold, we decided to meet after her second set of tests for GI Tract problems, as I knew she'd be famished when done.  Of course, this would be a day spent en-homme, as I didn't feel like getting dressed as Mario to see her, then changing into Marian without a plan for the rest of the day.

Things would have been simple, had both of us gotten enough rest the night before. GFJ got her usual 3 hours of sleep, while I didn't get to sleep until 5 or 6 am or so. For me, getting by on 3 hours of sleep is something I can't do anymore. And when I woke up, I stayed semi conscious until 10 am, when I ran into the shower to get ready for the day.

When I started driving up to Poughkeepsie, I figured that I'd trail GFJ by 30 minutes to the diner.  Instead, I pulled in a few seconds after she did. And she didn't notice me when I parked next to her on her right. So, when I said "BOO!", she was a little (but pleasantly) shocked.

Lunch was nice, especially with GFJ gradually expanding the list of things she can eat. It'll take a while for her to figure out what foods are causing her problems. But I know that she doesn't want to deal with a two stage operation to cure the underlying problem - I'd hate to need an "ostomy bag" even for a short time. Until she figures out which foods are causing her problems, she is avoiding gluten and dairy while she gradually reintroduces foods back into her diet.

After lunch, we drove to the cell phone repair shop, where both of us were confused about what the fellow was saying.  Was the phone on its way back from California? Or, was he waiting on information from California?  Either way, I didn't get my phone back, and it will be another week before I can claim it from the shop.

Sadly, we had to part.  I was starting to fall out and needed a nap, while she had to kill some time before going to physical therapy. So I went somewhere secluded and napped for an hour before driving home. And then I napped even more, as I was really tired.  

What a quiet day!


Monday, March 13, 2017

A little of this, a pinch of that, and a dollop of nothing

Given how cold it was outside, I had no mood to go outside and freeze. And since I didn't wake up early enough, I didn't even have the option of going to the local church that I have visited on occasion as Marian.

So, what did I do?

Well, this was another day that I stayed under the covers and hibernated. Having nothing to do will do this to a person. And this is why I want to find some meaningful work - just to keep me from getting caught in the web of comfortable inactivity.

It's hard to believe how quickly the week has passed. And yet, I still haven't studied much for my class. Late in the afternoon, I finally broke down and logged onto the web site to see how much time I have to allocate for study, and I figure that I'll have to put in 3 hours a day for the next couple of days, and then do about 4-6 hours per week while this class is going on.

There is so much that I have to catch up on, and I'm not referring to classwork alone. I started to work on the new NPW web site last night, and found that much of the material that NPWJ wants me to include in the new site is not available from the old site. So I'm working on what I can, and will talk to her on Friday to see what I can do to resolve a few issues. At this time, I'll tell her that I have jury duty scheduled, and will try to figure out what I can do to keep things moving during a two week outage.

- - - - - -

GFJ is starting to feel a little better, and it would be nice to see her tomorrow after her GI Tract tests. (This is the second week in a row that she has to take this test, so I know she'll be hungry when she gets out of the doctor's office.) I figure that we'll be able to go out for a bite to eat, and then see a show at the el-cheapo movie house in Poughkeepsie. While I'm up there, I'll make some noise at the cell phone repair shop, as I'd like to have a working phone in my hands soon. 

Hopefully, things will break for me on the employment front soon.  It'll be nice to have a reason to get up in the morning again soon....

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Out and about with no one to see

It is unusual for me to be alone on a Saturday, as GFJ is usually here on weekends. And I enjoyed being able to relax and do what I wanted all day for a change without worrying about attending to GFJ's needs.  I don't mind doing taking care of her. It's just nice to have a day to myself.

- - - - - -

I didn't bother getting up until around noon, as I was enjoying the feeling of being nestled under a warm blanket. But when I finally did get up, I took care of having my first meal of the day, and then went on to the computer to check my email.  It was the usual stuff, a lot of people trying to sell me things, coupled with some personal email from both GFJ and the Cat Lady.

Since GFJ wasn't going to make it down today, I suggested to the Cat Lady (who had noted that her Saturday might be free if her friend couldn't make it) and I get together for a long delayed German dinner.  Sadly, she was also dealing with a cold and couldn't make it. (It'd have been nice to see her again, but I'm careful not to go further than friendship.) Instead, I took the unavailability of people as an opportunity to work on NPW's new web site.

NPW has not been at the top of my list of things to take care of lately, and I knew that I finally had to start work on the site, now that NPWJ has sent me the edits she wants applied to the new site. Even though she has given me a lot, it's not perfect, and I still had questions that she'll need to answer before I go too much further in a couple of areas.

Once done with NPW, I had nothing better to do. So I decided to make a run up to Newburgh and see if my favorite saleslady was in. (She was not, having left earlier in the day.) I browsed through the store, finding nothing of interest. Since I had eaten since 1:00 pm, I figured that it would be a good time to go to the buffet - and did.

- - - - - -

As you can guess, today was a very quiet day, but one I spent en-femme.  One thing of note though - I wore a pair of women's trousers and a nice sweater. As much as this outfit was appropriate for the weather, I noticed my lack of feminine hips when I saw myself in the mirror. Other people must have noticed this too. And this makes me want to wear long tunics over leggings next winter. At least a tunic will cover my behind and help provide the illusion of having a more feminine shape.

Saturday, March 11, 2017

I hugged a girl tonight and I liked it.

The picture may be old, the story is new, and there is nothing illicit or unbecoming about it.  Women hug as a form of affection.

- - - - - -

There were two things on my calendar for today, and I knew that I'd have to answer for one of them.  Having my volunteer session scheduled for Thursdays at the GLBT center has not been easy for me this time around. It is much harder for me to get moving these days, as 3 years (minus 7 months) of inactivity has taken a toll on me. So I've often pushed this effort to Fridays. Given that I had dinner with the girls scheduled for the evening, I didn't have to run back and forth between Upper Westchester and Lower Westchester at 2 different times of the day.

I planned to get out on the road shortly after lunch, as I didn't want to spend money on two meals outside the house. Arriving at the GLBT Center around 2:30, I was tasked to fix a couple of things on their web site. One of them was to figure out why a calendar was not being populated from data maintained on the site. (Later, tech support told us that it only fills in the first 20 items in an external calendar - this indicated a problem with the GLBT center's customization that I was not in a position to fix.) Another was to add several images to a slideshow carousel - taking care of this wasn't intuitive, and I had to read some CSS code to figure things out. The third task was similar to the slideshow carousel. But I couldn't find the CSS that controlled this set of images, and had to pass this back to the center's director for their staff to deal with on Monday.  (They are making the same mistake they made with their old site - there is no documentation on what they did, and future administrators will need to replace the site when it can no longer be maintained properly.)

- - - - - -

Around 5:00, I left the center and oozed my way to Yonkers. My plans were to go to Barnes and Noble, do some reading, take advantage of the rest room, and kill about an hour of time before driving the 10 minutes to the night's meetup. Just as I parked the car, GFJ decided to call.  She was coughing a bit, having come down with a cold, telling me that New York State had just screwed her little business. It seems that NYS has starting a new program of providing free Lead tests, and sending the samples directly to the same lab that GFJ was using for her business. (If she was having a hard time making money before, you can imagine the hit she'll take as people find out about New York's latest taxpayer funded program.) After 30 minutes, I was ready to burst. We ended our chat, and I took care of business. But I still had 30 minutes to kill, so I picked up a book and ordered a beverage to occupy my time.

Once done with my drink, I put down the book, went to the car, and drove to the restaurant where the meetup was being held. There were 10 ladies there (including myself), with 3 newbies to the group. HWB and FFGF were there, and it was nice to see them again. Since one of the new women was sitting next to me, it was only natural that we got into some chats. She is unhappy with the education her son is getting, and is blaming it on "Common Core". Many people are unhappy with CC, and blame this development for their children not being able to perform well. Although I do not have kids, I see problems with CC, as its implementation doesn't provide teachers and schools with enough flexibility to educate children well.

There was one new group member that I didn't have the chance to speak with over dinner. (I'll call her FFGK for now.) She was so impressed with the group, that she will be there the next time we meet. FFGK and I started our chat as everyone was leaving the restaurant, and we must have chatted for at least 30+ minutes. We clicked as two long lost girlfriends would, having complimentary experiences and interests. I made her laugh a bit, and she said that I made her day.  We hugged before leaving the restaurant then walked to our cars, and left the restaurant.

It'll be nice seeing my new friend again....

Friday, March 10, 2017

We're in the home stretch

The most important thing I had on my schedule was game night in Yonkers. Everything else, I could blow away, or put off for another day.

- - - - - -

When I got up this morning, I didn't have much energy to do much of anything.  (Is this getting to sound familiar?)  So I stayed in bed until late in the morning, and then moved slowly for the rest of the day.  Since I had my scheduled volunteer session at the GLBT Center, I sent them an email telling them I'd be in tomorrow.

Once I sent this email, I didn't have to get moving until late in the day.  Just before I was to go out to game night, my brother called me to catch up on things and tell me the status of what is going on at the family homestead.  So I didn't get out until a half hour after I wanted.  For once, I had more than enough time to make it to game night on time. One thing of note from this chat - both of us think that the stock market is a bubble waiting to burst, and we both need early bailout plans.

As usual, I didn't win any of the games I played.  For the most part, I play for fun, and not to win. What was unusual, is that all the men were in one room, and us women were in the other.  At the time we normally break up, the guys were still going strong with their game. So us gals got into chatting.  Somehow, I ended up saying that I had a picture of me taken from when I was a kid, and the hostess said that she'd love to see that. I ended up searching for a picture that I scanned over 8 years ago, and showed a picture of me and my brother together as children.  The ladies know I'm trans, and this was the first time I felt comfortable sharing part of my male life with them.  But I trust these ladies, and that's the important thing here.

- - - - - -

On the way home, I had the chance to chat with GFJ, and we both have the same feeling about the stock market.  Her mom's financial person also feels that the bubble is going to burst soon, so it is imperative that I find a safe place to park my 401k money now....

Thursday, March 9, 2017

The pipes, they are a playing....

I figured that I'd start off this post with something light for a change. And the fellow that I saw at the end of my day gave me the inspiration for today's entry. So I figured that I'd start off with a Scottish joke.

- - - - - -

Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye went to study at an English university and was living in the hall of residence with all the other students there. After he had been there a month, his mother came to visit him (no doubt carrying reinforcements of tatties, salt herring, oatmeal and whisky).

"And how do you find the English students, Donald?" she asked.

"Mother," he replied, "they're such terrible, noisy people. The one on that side keeps banging his head on the wall and won't stop. The one on the other side screams and screams all night."
"Oh Donald! How do you manage to put up with these awful noisy English neighbours?"
"Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them. I just stay here quietly, playing my bagpipes."

- - - - - -

Sadly, today was a day to be spent en-homme. Not only was I going to see my dentist for a long delayed visit to the dental hygienist, but I had to go into NYC for my first PMP prep class. Any thoughts I had of changing into Marian were just that - idle thoughts.

The visit to my dentist went well, but I ended up going back to a 4 month interval between cleanings, as my mouth had more gunk in it than expected. Since I had time to kill before leaving for NYC, I decided to pick up some lunch - and then take a needed cat nap.  (Even though I slept well enough, I felt tired upon waking up. And I knew that I'd never make it through the day and evening without a little more sleep.)   But first, it was a trip to a Metro North ticket machine to see if my old Transit Chek debit card still had funds which could be used to buy some off-peak tickets. And sadly, the card didn't work.  As they say, "nothing ventured - nothing gained."

Somehow, I managed to wake without an alarm, and realized that I had to rush to make it to NYC on time. I had a choice to make. Did I want to park in Pelham and take the train in from there? Or, did I want to drive to Ex-GF-M's neighborhood and take the subway into NYC.  Given how tired I expected to be this evening, I figured that the Pelham option made more sense.

- - - - - -

Even catching a 5:06 pm train, I made it to Grand Central with enough time to casually walk to the building where my PMP Class was being held. And I got there with a few minutes to spare.  When the class started, I wondered: what happened to Patty? As I started to text her, she entered the room.  It seems that she was late leaving an appointment with an eye doctor, and she decided to drive into NYC.

This class is going to be a lot of work, and I'm a little frightened that I won't do well when I take the exam. (Over 50% of the people fail on their first attempts.)  Patty is a little worried, but for different reasons - Her prior, successful project management experience taints her thought process, and will make it hard for her to learn the theory of project management that PMI tests for.

After class, I walked Patty to her car, and then we had some coffee before parting. It was nice being able to see her again, and I think we will develop a regular routine of getting together as part of this class.  Once done with coffee, it was across the street to fetch her car, then back to Grand Central for me to catch a train. And that's where I saw the bagpiper above.

- - - - - -

It's hard to believe that the weather was warm enough NOT to be wearing winter coats.The bagpiper was not the only one taking advantage of the weather. There were lots of women wearing "short" skirts, taking advantage of this weather while they could.  Sadly, I didn't get the chance to go into NYC as Marian for this round of warm weather. But I think I'll be able to do so when the next warm spell comes around.

- - - - - -

PS: I now have a Jury Duty date.  With the exception of the days which I'll be going to class, I intend to go as Marian, but provide Mario's identification when called.  They won't let me take a cell phone with me, but at least I can take a book or two to keep me from getting bored. (I'd like to ask if they could provide a locker for the phone while I'm there. I feel naked without access these days. Pat, can you comment on this? I hate the 2 hours each way to Pearl Street.)

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

If only I had known it was Mardi Gras

Bourbon Street and Mardi Gras - the best and worst time to be in New Orleans' French Quarter.  And I wish I could have been there to enjoy the revelry.  Or, if I couldn't be there, I'd like to have been in a place that knew how to party like it was "Fat Tuesday" in New Orleans.

- - - - - -

I'm not much of a party goer. And I spent most of the day in quiet seclusion. It wasn't until 4:00 pm or so that I even bothered to go outside. By the time I got moving, I lost the chance that I had to get into NYC and visit the 9/11 Memorial Museum. (It has free hours from 5:00 pm to 8:00 pm every Tuesday). So I decided to call Pat and see if she was available - and she was not.  She was going to "The Bayou" to have Mardi Gras dinner with a friend.  (She would have invited me along had she known earlier that I'd be interested.  Drat!)

At this point, I had still not heard from GFJ.  So I left her messages, and she responded that she was still with her mom. (She was there for her mom's visit to her doctor, and then for some discussions regarding her mom's services at the home where she lives.) By the time GFJ got out, she had missed her regularly scheduled "Divorce Class" in Fishkill, and was on her way home.

- - - - - -

It was nice to go out as Marian again, as tomorrow will be a Mario day.  I'm not looking forward to being Mario for a day, but I am looking forward to seeing Patty (my ex girlfriend) in the PMP Certification Prep class I'm taking. It'll be nice to have a study buddy that I know well....

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

GFJ, GI Tract Ailments, and Chicken Soup

The GI Tract.  Something which defined much of this weekend with GFJ.

- - - - - -

GFJ has had on and off problems with her GI Tract.  So, on Friday, she disrupted her plans and went to the doctor to find out what is going wrong.  To start ruling out some things, the doctor had her scheduled for a series of tests beginning at 8:00 am on Monday morning. But to take the first test, she had to drink nothing but water, eat nothing but chicken or pork, with rice for a starch. The doctor wants to check for things like Celiac disease, as well as do an analysis of the digestive bacteria in her gut.  Things such as toothpaste would screw up one of the tests, so she had to avoid it on Monday morning's daily ablutions.

- - - - - -

Since I have already reported on Friday in another entry, I will skip directly to Saturday and my visit to my brother, and GFJ's visit to family.

GFJ left for her mom's around 10:00 am, and she found her mom still getting ready to visit family.  It was strange for GFJ's mom to be much more sleepy than normal. And she slept much of the time during the party being held at GFJ's niece's house.  When GFJ took her mom home, she was asleep within a couple of minutes of the time GFJ brought her mom to her room.  (I won't say much more here - this is GFJ's life, and I'll only report details where it relates to my life.)

While GFJ was with family, I was with my brother.  He decided not to work on Saturday, so we spent the day moving some bulk trash to the curb for garbage pickup, then dealing with the exchange of a bathroom sink AND the purchase of tile for the kitchen back splash.  This took much longer than one would expect.  There is a lot of defective material out there, and we noticed tolerable defects in the sink we decided to use in the bathroom. But it is even worse with decorative tile. We found an affordable tile type we liked, but found that a lot of the pieces were broken in storage. (I have not reported things in sequence here, but have compressed them for ease of reading.) So we ended up NOT buying the tile, and left it for my brother to take care of on Sunday morning.

On the way back to the family homestead and to my car, my brother passed by the place he used to work when younger.  Given what was being hidden by the site's owners, he was likely exposed to both Uranium and Cesium in his early career. (The site is now cordoned off, and is being guarded to prevent intruders from illegal visits.) Couple this with being a secondary responder after 9/11, and one can guess why he has a cough that isn't going away.  My niece and nephew have told him to the doctor to get this checked out, and I hope he does so soon.

By the time I got home, neither of us wanted to cook - for different reasons.  So I said that we should make a return visit to the diner, where GFJ could order her soup and I could order a tasty dinner.  Sadly, I wish GFJ could have enjoyed a regular meal with me. But until the doctors figure out what's wrong, I'll have to get used to her and her very limited diet.

- - - - - -

GFJ and I slept late, and I was awakened by a call from my brother.  He had gone out early in the day, and found a small tile shop that had affordable tile in exactly the style we wanted. So he scheduled pickup for Monday morning.

We didn't get out of the house until late, and I decided to pick up a few things at Walmart. For the life of me, I can't remember exactly what I was looking for. But I picked up some other things I needed - and put them in the pantry for future use.

It was nice to get out for a long drive, even though we didn't see much at night.  Since GFJ had to get up early in the morning, I made sure to get her home early, so that we had a chance of falling asleep early enough for her to feel rested in the morning.

- - - - - -

Monday came, and GFJ left around 7:00 am.  I couldn't get back to sleep, so I was working on 3 hours sleep when I reached the dealership to have my car worked on. While they were working on the car, I met Lili for a late breakfast and we chatted for an hour.  As we were finishing up our meal, the dealership called to tell me that the car was done, but they couldn't find the noise I mentioned.  The car was safe to drive, but I noted that I will bring the car back when I can reproduce the noise near their dealership.  (I found a way to reproduce that noise.  So I will give them a call soon, and demonstrate it in order for them to replicate it themselves.)

When I got home, I was dead tired and wanted to go to sleep again.  One problem - too much caffeine.  Drinking the equivalent of 4 cups of coffee didn't help me after I was able to go home.  And it didn't help that I received a couple of phone calls when I was trying to nap. So I decided to check on the status of the cell phone that was out for repair, and I was told that I should have some news in a few days.

Later on in the day, I decided to do some window shopping, and perhaps try on a frock or two. So I drove to Paramus, and stopped into Catherine's to browse the merchandise.  Although there was nothing there that I wanted at the price point I was willing to pay, I figure that I can take Lili there soon, so that she can try on dresses in her size.  (She previously hated dresses, but is now considering wearing them because of her recent weight loss.)  Hopefully, she'll be in the mood to do this within the next few weeks.

- - - - - -

Tomorrow will be day spent fully en-femme.  I'm looking forward to wearing a nice frock outdoors before the rain comes down.  If I'm lucky, and get up early, I think I'll be able to do just that....

Monday, March 6, 2017

I wouldn't join a group that would have me for a member. - J. H. Marx

I think the above picture fits how someone in the Whine and Dine group may have wanted those outside the in crowd to feel.  There was a Christmas at someone's house (probably the Queen Bee's place) which was not publicly posted, and the picture from that gathering ended up being posted on the site.

Was I the one who noticed?  No.  It was WDJ.  And at the last public gathering of the group, she heard mention of a party she wasn't invited to, and let things drop. But I could tell that it bothered her a little from our latest email exchanges (including comments from one of WDJ's friends):  (WDJ's words are in RED and in CAPS as she typed them.)






(In another email...)



Friend: (About the Queen Bee) She has always been an outsider too tall too masculine and choose to embrace the role of bully rather than be bullied 

Friend: Our society has chosen to be overly concerned with looks, and whenever we participate we condone it.

After noting that I'm not bothered by being excluded from the group, I got this response:



And I then told WDJ to go for it!

When the Queen Bee and I had our limited exchange last year, I put the group behind me. Due to years of therapy, I have a healthy attitude about being excluded from groups. (See Groucho's quote: "I wouldn't join a group that would have me for a member.")  And now, I finally understand who I am.  I have always wanted to be "accepted" and I often wasn't as Mario. Something in how I communicated with others didn't work as Mario, but does work as Marian.  Lessons learned as Mario help me as Marian, and make me a better person in both genders. For this, I am very grateful.

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Quickie: Shopping - both online and in store

Shopping for clothes can be great fun, and a great inconvenience. Like many women, I enjoy going to the store and sifting through racks of clothing.  I enjoy talking with the ladies working at the store, as well as getting suggestions involving what looks good on me. Shopping becomes a communal experience, where the potential buyer (me) gets to chat with others while examining the merchandise.

Online shopping is more of a solitary experience for me.  Yes, I can always send clothes back to the virtual store if the product doesn't fit right. But I rarely need to do so, as most online outlets have done their best to standardize the fit for each size, so that they can minimize product returns.

There is a noted advantage that online shopping has over in-person shopping: variety. I can go to many stores' online outlets and find a greater variety of goods than are available at the brick and mortar store front.  This is a shame, but it does make sense.  Why maintain a store inventory for goods that don't sell well enough to be stocked in a store, but sell well enough to be offered online?

Although I am almost at the end of establishing a full female wardrobe, I still like to browse through brick and mortar stores, as well as their online outlets.  This is one of the pleasures about being a woman - sometimes the process of gathering is fun for its own right, and not for what is gathered in that process.

Saturday, March 4, 2017

Quickie: Arranging things

Finally, I got the day right in regard to my cleaning lady coming here.  This is the first time in a while that she's come here "on time" to do her magic.  And I'm happy with that.  But it was an annoyance having to make sure that all of "Marian's" stuff was put away before she arrived.

- - - - - -

I was lucky to be up early because of GFJ's expected visit to her mom for her mom's doctor visit.  Instead, GFJ went to her own doctors in Poughkeepsie due to a GI Tract problem she's been having.  After poking and prodding, they want to do a series of tests on her to see if she has Celiac Disease (gluten intolerance), liver problems (possible cirrhosis of the liver - she rarely drinks alcohol), and other issues.  So she'll be on a very limited diet, which means we won't be going to any fancy restaurants in the near future.

While waiting for GFJ to return, I chatted with Patty (my ex girlfriend from years ago), and we will likely meet for lunch when I travel to Long Island to see my dad. She is interested in the PMP Prep course I'll be taking next week (Wednesdays fit into her schedule well), so I forwarded her the information, and hope she still can take the course.  Next up was my niece.  I told her about a promotional deal where a new airline will be flying into Newburgh, and have $69ow flights to Europe.  Since she wants to go back across the pond, I figure that she should know about these flights now.

It was a busy afternoon.  And I'm hoping we have a quiet evening.

Friday, March 3, 2017

Pat and BXM

A while back, I spent a Saturday evening seeing two of my friends - Pat and BXM.  When I was working, it was hard to see either one of them in Marian mode, as I don't have the time during the week to get home, change from Mario to Marian, and then get out again.

- - - - - -

After I finished the day's prime activities (noted in another post), I made calls to Pat and to BXM.  Although Pat was busy, she said to come over and we'll have some cheese and crackers over beer.  So I drove over to The Avenue in Co-Op City, and got stuck in some massive traffic jams.  There was no rhyme or reason to things there, and ever since they opened the enclosed mall, traffic has become insufferable.  Although I saw a nice dress there, I didn't find a second one to make it worthwhile to take advantage of the (true) BOGO Sale - where one buys a product and gets the second one for free.  I also looked at shoes. Unfortunately, since their shoe area was so cramped and messy, there was no way I'd be buying shoes that night.

Usually, I can make it to Pat's in 15 minutes from Co-Op City, but it took me that to get out of Co-Op City itself. By the time I reached Pat, I was about 45 minutes later than planned, and we ended up having a chat that could have lasted for hours.  I brought her up to date with what was going on in my life, and then left for BXM's.

BXM is usually busy dealing with things for her father.  He suffers from a disease that requires home care, and she usually underestimates the time it will take her to get things done.  Even with being about 1 hour late for BXM, she was still not able to make it downstairs to the lobby in a reasonable amount of time. We went to the local diner and shot the breeze for an hour, bring each other up to date with the status of our lives.

- - - - - -

This is one of the pleasant things about not having GFJ around all the time - I can get to be Marian without any interference.  But then, this is the way life has been for this transgender person who lives a life on each side of the gender divide....

Thursday, March 2, 2017

I haven't been to an Outback in ages.

I haven't been to an Outback Steakhouse in years, and tonight's dinner with the gals will break my "winning" streak.  Given the choice between a good local place and a chain restaurant, I'll go with the local place every time.

But first....

When I woke up today, I had virtually no energy. Although I had a good sleep and felt well rested, I felt like all the energy had been drained out of me.  Of course, when it's warm inside, I get lethargic, and lose the energy I have.  If you keep me in cold comfort, I do fine. So, when Lili called to suggest that we meet somewhere after her therapy session, I said Yes - but wished I had a good excuse to say no.

Lili and I met at the local Starbucks after her therapy session.  And Lili is finally seeing what having her stomach sliced and diced has done for her.  She can no longer eat to anesthetize herself from feeling things. Instead, she has to deal with her feelings, and she's learning how to do so.  She mentioned that her therapist is recommending another form of therapy for her, very much similar to the treatment method my former therapist did with me. Lili wanted company, and I told her that I can't afford to go to another therapist. She'd have to go alone. And the more she does things on her own, the better off she will be.

As I was about to leave, a woman complimented me on the dress I was wearing, saying that I should always wear shades of aqua.  I thanked her, and noted that I like this shade, some shades of blue and violet, and a little bit of red.  It all depends on the mood I am in for the day. But this lady's compliment confirmed my decision to buy this dress.

- - - - - -

Once done with Lili, I drove down to Yonkers to meet the gals at Outback.  It's not my favorite restaurant, but it is predictable. WPB noted that I was on time for a change, as if I made good time.  Given that I was killing time beforehand, I was glad that I didn't keep our group waiting for me before we could be seated.

Normally, I never mention much about the ladies' loo.  But today, I was very upset, because two of the three stalls were not fit for me to relieve myself.  I could have straddled at one toilet, but I was disgusted by a toilet where the wax ring had failed and water was coming out from the base of the commode.  The other was blocked by a massive wad of toilet paper that wouldn't flush, leaving only one working toilet for all the ladies relief.  (I may write a note to the manager of the place - if I was disgusted, other ladies would be so too.)

One of the ladies never made it to the meetup, so it was the six of us having the dinner special. WPB was across from me, and the lady who sent me the Happy Thanksgiving message (let's call her FFGF for now) was to my left.  And all six of us were having great chats.  I wish we had more time to chat, but dinner was over too quickly. Another thing I will note about Outback is that tonight's service left a lot to be desired.  If I write the complaint letter, I will note that in previous visits (as Mario), we always got prompt service AND that the beverage glasses were always kept filled (with water or other soft drinks).

- - - - - -

On the way home, I took the Sprain Brook Parkway to Route 287.  Looking ahead, I saw that the Department of Transportation had already started the process of closing the road for maintenance - one hour early.  It was fortunate that I could easily made the left turn onto the exit ramp leading me to Route 9A.  I can only imagine what the other people stuck in the traffic jam were saying to themselves.  And I'll have to remember NOT to take this road home tomorrow night after my gaming meetup.



Wednesday, March 1, 2017

A day to myself

I've spent a lot of time as Mario for the past few days, and today was one of them. Yes, I could have gotten dressed early, and have gone out for the better part of the day en-femme. But it made much more sense to get dressed as Mario, and go to the co-op board meeting at the end of the day.

- - - - - -

Surprisingly, a headhunter called me to see if I was interested in a position he was trying to fill. I didn't get a good vibe from this fellow, because of the way he presented things.  He was very hungry, and didn't want to wait for late afternoon for me to fill out a couple of short forms. Once this fellow told me the name of the firm and the location where I'd be working, I started to have misgivings about even considering this position.  If I was not getting enough sleep when I worked at the payments firm near the South Street Seaport, I would get even less sleep working for an investment bank next to South Ferry. So I was not in a rush to help this person, as I probably wouldn't take the position if offered.

When I was done wasting time, I decided to get showered and dressed, so that I could attend the co-op board meeting. We had some decisions to make, and two of them were mildly unpleasant. Due to privacy concerns, I can't say much more about what went on, save that a problem I reported the other day will be addressed by the people who caused it.

After the meeting, three of us (HWA, HWV and I) chatted for a minute or two in the parking lot. HWV is interested in going to the "20 at 20" Off Broadway specials at the end of March, and HWA would like to arrange another day of chatting. It seems like I'm gradually developing new friendships - something I'd never have done well before I allowed my Marian persona to express herself in the outside world.

- - - - - -

I can't wait until tomorrow, where I can finally get back into a comfortable frock for a couple of days.