Even when I go to bed a little early, it takes me forever to go to sleep. So it is hard for me to get up early enough to do things such as going to church on a Sunday that GFJ is not here. I could not get away with this if I were working....
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As usual, I had my alarms set yesterday to get me up early enough to go to church. But I was too tired to do anything but turn off the alarm and go to sleep for another 3 hours. By the time I got myself moving, it was already late in the afternoon and I couldn't do much until GFJ arrived. Do I feel upset about this? A little. There is a little frustration here. But I feel that part of this problem lies in the environment in which I live.
I've noticed that I talk about lethargy a lot more than I used to. And I think that in part it's ennui. There is a part of me that craves new experiences, but doesn't have the resources to have them. I'm actually getting closer to putting in a few job applications in some retail stores - just to get out of the house and give me something to do during the day.
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This morning, GFJ and I got moving very late in the morning. If she didn't have to be in her office by 2 pm, she would not have bothered getting up. As for me, I had nothing better to do, so I ended up staying in bed and watching TV all day. Could I have gotten dressed and gone out? Yes. But I didn't have much to do, and I was not in the mood to get dressed.
I live in one of the few apartments I know where one has to open up the windows in winter. Since I am very sensitive to warmth, it's easy for me to become semiconscious when I'm in warm surroundings. And this is how it was today in the apartment - WARM! This doesn't make it easy for me to get moving without running the air conditioner 24x7 until November. I've lived with this for years, but if I had to do it all again, I'd have chosen an apartment with better air circulation, one that gets cool in most seasons.
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Tomorrow, I have to get up early to go with Lili into NYC and prepay the doctor for her upcoming plastic surgery. Given how she was feeling when she saw her doctor for a checkup, I won't be surprised if she postpones this trip a couple of days. But she has to make the payment before her surgeon goes on vacation, so I know this task has to be done this week.