Thursday, June 29, 2017

A last day as Mario for a while.

I'm one of the smaller group of Transgender folk that does not suffer from severe gender dysphoria. That means I can "comfortably" live as a male for a while - until my need to be female demands that I revert to a female presentation. This was a factor in the ambivalence I felt about going to my last job - I was not getting enough "Marian Time" to sate my needs.

Today was my last day of being Mario for a while. I had a PMI meeting that I planned to attend in the afternoon. However, I blew it off after doing laundry, as I really wasn't in the mood to schlep into NYC when I really needed to pack.

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One of the Co-Op issues came up today, when a board member wanted to find out more information about an issue which was not my right to supply. So I had to explain that saying anything would put me in an awkward situation - and she let things drop. But then we shifted to financial matters, and a second issue came up. Once done with that call, I made a call to the Co-Op's president and mentioned what this board member brought up. We discussed this board member's concerns in regard to finances, and I said that I'd discuss these concerns with my brother - a CPA (and now CFO of the firm he works for).

Later on, my brother called me to discuss the status of the family homestead, and I brought up the co-op's issue and asked him for suggestions.  Both of us were frustrated for different reasons. I am not always good at organizing my thoughts, and need time to paint a picture of what is happening and where I see the potential problems.  He's much more of a "get to the point" person, and intolerant of those who can't quickly describe a situation. Eventually, I had to tell him that I am not an accountant, can't be brief with an issue I don't grasp 100%, and needed the time without interruption to describe that situation that he could describe in 30 seconds. He then let me speak, and then gave me some suggestions we can use in dealing with that second issue of concern.

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I realize that I don't always think in the same way as an average person. Years ago, I must have been continually interrupted when trying to make my points and developed a problem in getting my points across. To whoever did this to me, all I can say (venting my anger) is that I hope they are burning in hell, as I can not forgive them for crippling me this way. Making someone insecure in one's ability to communicate is evil, and never should be tolerated. Anyone who says that "Children should be seen and not heard" is likely evil, as children need their voices too.

Am I angry? Yes. But I am angry at a class of people who would deny others their voices. I am angry at people who think children are chattel who have no rights. And I am angry at parents who do not put the needs of their children first, above all other needs.....

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