Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Back to "reality"

Back to reality, or what passes for it.

When I arrived home, I found the mess on my bed where I left it, and 3 loads of laundry that I had to do.  Instead, I spent my time taking care of other matters until 7 pm. At that time, I decided to take care of the backlog of work I had to do for my PMP certification class. Expecting to take about 30 minutes for each quiz, I decided to stay at my desk until I caught up with the work. And I was still working on these quizzes until after midnight. AARGH!  I was so preoccupied with this work, that I didn't even take a break to do laundry. So, I had at least 3 loads to take care of today before meeting GFJ for an early dinner.

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Getting up, one of the first things on my mind was doing the laundry. But more important was how I would deal with GFJ. Do we finally say it's over? I could live with that, but I really don't like this scenario. We could renew things, but after 2 1/2 months of being apart, I've gotten used to having weekends for myself and for getting out and about as Marian. I really didn't want to have the conversation we needed to have, and dreaded what it could mean.

Eventually, the two of us had dinner at the local Japanese restaurant in town, and had a chat. The elephant in the room was not even mentioned. And this was just as well. We lingered after dinner, then went to the riverside park to take a walk and then to chat. Again, the elephant in the room was not mentioned.

Around 9:30, GFJ had to leave for her mom's place, as they had an appointment with her mom's caregivers in the morning. I felt better about things, as nothing final from either of us was said. And yet, I could also use some certainty to get moving with this part of my life again. This sounds crazy, as I'll be seeing the Cat Lady on Friday, and possibly seeing RO after I'm done with my brother on Saturday.

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Tomorrow morning, I have to do the homework for my 2nd to last class for my PMP certification. I'm behind on some things, and I know that I'll have to do some serious practice tests before being confident enough to schedule the PMP exam. Could you imagine me passing this exam, but not wanting to follow this path anymore?  Don't laugh. This was the case with my Masters in Education, and I have no regrets for the time and money spent to get this degree....

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