Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Quickie: Sooner or later, I expected this to happen

It was bound to happen.  I have always been honest with GFJ about being transgender since our second date, and she has accepted this as a risk. Today, the hammer dropped, and now I have to figure out how to live without GFJ in my life.

If you remember, I mentioned that one of her friends saw my OK Cupid ad, and she promised that she'd say nothing about it to GFJ.  (I believe that she said nothing, so let's not explore that path.) But another one of her friends saw my private Facebook page via one of FB's friend suggestions. And this friend relayed a rumor which GFJ picked up on. Then GFJ dropped the hammer today, on the phone, because she couldn't do it in person.

We talked a bit, and as we ended the call, I could hear her cry.  If I weren't the person in the middle of things, I'd have tried to be there for her. But, since I am, all I can do is delete her phone numbers from my car's speed dial, toss out what little of her stuff remains here, and move forward with my life. Before the call ended, I mentioned that I have no problems with her friends knowing about me being transgender, and that I understood the fears she had about her family knowing about me being transgender. I just asked that when she discusses this with her friends, that she note that I was always honest with her about being TG, and was always there for her when I was needed.

Although she could change her mind (as she did once before, early in the relationship), I will not count on this. Instead, I'll wait a while, and then pursue other options. In about 2 months, I'll open up the OKC ads again, and see what happens. But I won't pursue anything actively.

Life's a bitch, but it could be much worse.


  1. I am sorry that your relationship is over. It is important to have a solid person in one's life.
    I can also understand her concern about your being transgender. Think about how long it took you to come to peace with this part of your persona. This is you and you know the conflicts you have had to resolve. It may be even harder for a woman to accept this part of us. They may love us but how we present to others and how we are considered by others is something that really matters to the woman in our life. Since some of her friends have seen your social media I can presume that the wasband finding out that she left him for a TG may simply present a bridge too far for her to go.
    Good luck and just take things one day at a time.

  2. Pat -

    I knew this was a strong possibility for a long time. It is harder for a woman since their genetic programming has been to seek the stereotypical male. And they get what they look for, which is not always in their best interests. I'll miss her, as I grieve this loss. But there are other fish in the sea, and I will eventually advertise again to try and catch one.