Monday, March 6, 2017
I wouldn't join a group that would have me for a member. - J. H. Marx
I think the above picture fits how someone in the Whine and Dine group may have wanted those outside the in crowd to feel. There was a Christmas at someone's house (probably the Queen Bee's place) which was not publicly posted, and the picture from that gathering ended up being posted on the site.
Was I the one who noticed? No. It was WDJ. And at the last public gathering of the group, she heard mention of a party she wasn't invited to, and let things drop. But I could tell that it bothered her a little from our latest email exchanges (including comments from one of WDJ's friends): (WDJ's words are in RED and in CAPS as she typed them.)
A FEW OF THE GALS THERE I LIKED, BUT MOST NOT SO MUCH
THEY DO MEAN GIRL STUFF
IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL BUT I FEEL I GOT "OUSTED" FROM THE GROUP BECAUSE I AM FRIENDS W/ U & TOOK UP 4 U---MY FEELING IS-- GOOD RIDDANCE, LOL
"S" CAUSED THE PROBLEM BECAUSE OF THE BLOG/QUEEN BEE, ETC.
THEY PUT THE XMAS PARTY PIC UP AS THEIR GROUP PIC--UR SMART, IT WAS LIKE A MESSAGE, A F.U. WE EXCLUDED U, GO AWAY...
.I HAD NO ARGUMENT OR ISSUE W/ ANYONE, OTHER THAN "S" HAD AN INTENSE DISLIKE/JEALOUSY OF ME---WOULD I EVEN WANT TO BELONG TO A GROUP OF SUCH WOMEN?
MANY OTHERS R LOVELY LADIES THO....
(In another email...)
THIS WOMAN ATTACKED MARIAN & ME IN A SERIES OF EMAILS (WDJ to her friend.)
"S" WAS VERY HAUGHTY, LIKE U WERE LUCKY OUR GROUP ACCEPTED UR TRANNY SELF
Friend: (About the Queen Bee) She has always been an outsider too tall too masculine and choose to embrace the role of bully rather than be bullied
Friend: Our society has chosen to be overly concerned with looks, and whenever we participate we condone it.
After noting that I'm not bothered by being excluded from the group, I got this response:
I ALMOST FEEL LIKE POSTING--
WHAT A LOVELY PIC, SORRY I COULDN'T MAKE THIS EVENT- HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL (LOL)
And I then told WDJ to go for it!
When the Queen Bee and I had our limited exchange last year, I put the group behind me. Due to years of therapy, I have a healthy attitude about being excluded from groups. (See Groucho's quote: "I wouldn't join a group that would have me for a member.") And now, I finally understand who I am. I have always wanted to be "accepted" and I often wasn't as Mario. Something in how I communicated with others didn't work as Mario, but does work as Marian. Lessons learned as Mario help me as Marian, and make me a better person in both genders. For this, I am very grateful.