Monday, March 6, 2017

I wouldn't join a group that would have me for a member. - J. H. Marx


I think the above picture fits how someone in the Whine and Dine group may have wanted those outside the in crowd to feel.  There was a Christmas at someone's house (probably the Queen Bee's place) which was not publicly posted, and the picture from that gathering ended up being posted on the site.

Was I the one who noticed?  No.  It was WDJ.  And at the last public gathering of the group, she heard mention of a party she wasn't invited to, and let things drop. But I could tell that it bothered her a little from our latest email exchanges (including comments from one of WDJ's friends):  (WDJ's words are in RED and in CAPS as she typed them.)

A FEW OF THE GALS THERE I LIKED, BUT MOST NOT SO MUCH
THEY DO MEAN GIRL STUFF   


IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL BUT I FEEL I GOT "OUSTED" FROM THE GROUP BECAUSE I AM FRIENDS W/ U & TOOK UP 4 U---MY FEELING IS-- GOOD RIDDANCE, LOL

"S" CAUSED THE PROBLEM BECAUSE OF THE BLOG/QUEEN BEE, ETC.


THEY PUT THE XMAS PARTY PIC UP AS THEIR GROUP PIC--UR SMART, IT WAS LIKE A MESSAGE, A F.U. WE EXCLUDED U, GO AWAY...

.I HAD NO ARGUMENT OR ISSUE W/ ANYONE, OTHER THAN "S"  HAD AN INTENSE DISLIKE/JEALOUSY OF ME---WOULD I EVEN WANT TO BELONG TO A GROUP OF SUCH WOMEN?
...
MANY OTHERS R LOVELY LADIES THO....  

(In another email...)

THIS WOMAN ATTACKED MARIAN & ME IN A SERIES OF EMAILS (WDJ to her friend.)

"S" WAS VERY HAUGHTY, LIKE U WERE LUCKY OUR GROUP ACCEPTED UR TRANNY SELF


Friend: (About the Queen Bee) She has always been an outsider too tall too masculine and choose to embrace the role of bully rather than be bullied 


Friend: Our society has chosen to be overly concerned with looks, and whenever we participate we condone it.

After noting that I'm not bothered by being excluded from the group, I got this response:

I ALMOST FEEL LIKE POSTING--

WHAT A LOVELY PIC, SORRY I COULDN'T MAKE THIS EVENT- HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL (LOL)

And I then told WDJ to go for it!

When the Queen Bee and I had our limited exchange last year, I put the group behind me. Due to years of therapy, I have a healthy attitude about being excluded from groups. (See Groucho's quote: "I wouldn't join a group that would have me for a member.")  And now, I finally understand who I am.  I have always wanted to be "accepted" and I often wasn't as Mario. Something in how I communicated with others didn't work as Mario, but does work as Marian.  Lessons learned as Mario help me as Marian, and make me a better person in both genders. For this, I am very grateful.





1 comment:

  1. From WDJ:

    Anyone (like QUEEN BEE) who is a licensed professional, particularly in the healthcare field & writes hate mail based on discrimination like that opens them self up for a potential misconduct/suspension/losing a license or even a lawsuit. Such person making off-the-cuff medical/psychiatric diagnosis is basically practicing medicine w/o a license & violating HIPPA privacy laws. Lucky for any such person you are so congenial. IMO when people know & do NOTHING, they are complicit w/ the bullying; an accomplice after the fact. I am sure many of the members have no idea of what went on. I am very cautious of groups now, for all we know some members wear little white hoods on their heads:0( If I ever hear ONE MORE PEEP out of Queen Bee, I may be inclined to contact the ACLU, & I'm a straight cis-gendered female! It's the mean spiritedness + the gall of writing such infantile-ly nasty comments that pisses me off, factor in some GLBTQ prejudice & we have a TRIFECTA! FU QUEEN BEE I HOPE U SEE THIS ;0P

    - - - - - -

    WDJ is a bit upset at the Queen Bee of the W&D. And given what she has seen, I can't blame her.

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