Wednesday, February 22, 2017
Some thoughts on my appearance
The other day I met with Lili, and she commented on some of the dresses I bought over the past couple of years. And she noted that she liked me buying dresses like the one above, but not some of the more simple ones in my collection. One of her criticisms was that she preferred skirts and dresses that went below my knees. I agree with her on this, but not that many clothes designed for cisgender women fit this large transgal's body.
If there's one thing (among many) that can give me away as a transgal is that I love wearing dresses and skirts. Cisgender women in my neck of the woods tend to wear trousers on most occasions, as they are often the more practical garment - especially in inclement weather. I tend to dress as if I'm a woman either going to or coming from work, wearing my outfits in a very casual manner. However, this doesn't make much sense when there is snow on the ground, or when it is very wet outside.
My dilemma is simple. How can I dress in a trouser like garment and still present a tolerably feminine image? I do not have a normal female fat distribution, and could use fanny pads and hip pads to make that part of my body appear more feminine. But at my size, it is assumed that the average female has more than enough fat in the right places to go around. (No pun intended here.) Yet, without this padding, wearing trousers will make me look masculine.
Ideally, I can find some shorter dresses that I could wear as if they are long tunics with leggings underneath. This would help in the winter, but not always when the weather is sloppy. I still need to find items such as Rain Boots in my size. Given that I usually wear women's size 13W shoes, the only rain boots available are ugly ones designed for men. So I keep searching for the various "fill in" pieces, and hope that when I find them, that they will be affordable to me at the time.
With all this being said, I still have to work on losing weight. Lili doesn't want to cruise with me until I lose some of my weight. (But this comes from a woman who just had bariatric surgery for weight loss.) I have a feeling that one of the problems I've had in losing weight is that my testosterone level has gone down over the past 15 years. So I may have to eat "rabbit food" instead of my normal diet to lose this weight, unlike the last time where I only ate half portions of everything. Assuming that I lose some of my excess weight, I'd love to get back into a size 18 dress again. If I were to stay at a reduced weight for 3 years, I'll treat myself to a skin tightening, rhinoplasty, and other facial surgeries geared to make my face look much more presentable while en-femme. It would be nice to have the face I never had....
As you can see, I have some targets. Now to aim for them, and shoot for the moon!