Thursday, February 23, 2017
Some people give good advice, and others give bad advice.
Dear Abby and Ann Landers. Neither could have given me a solution for the long term dilemma I have with GFJ. And yet, something could have brought this issue to a point of resolution.
Over time, I have received advice from several people regarding what I should do with GFJ. WDJ was right to tell me to let time tell me the answer, and not to push for rapid change. Lili, on the other hand wanted me to put ads out on other dating sites, and dump GFJ as soon as I found someone who accepted me as Marian. I took a simple position, keeping Mario's ad on OK Cupid functional, but rarely attended. Marian's ad was attended, but got little incoming traffic. For the most part, this was wise. But it wouldn't account for any one of GFJ's friends seeing one of my ads and commenting on it. And that's what happened.
I don't go out seeking anyone using my ad in Mario mode, and have used it ONLY on occasion to communicate with some people I've met. (I now have email addresses for these women, and could kill the account.) For my Marian mode ad, I do respond to any positive I get, but I do not date anyone else these days. (At least, I am not in a position to seriously date anyone, as I spend my time with GFJ.)
When I got the message from GFJ's friend, I wasn't absolutely sure of her name, but I know it's one of the gals in her circle of close gal friends. And I know that things could blow up, simply because I didn't bother to deactivate my account. It's a great way to screw things up, isn't it?
In my response to GFJ's friend, I noted that I communicate with some female friends via cupid (technically true) and have helped them with their profiles (also true). And I did say this once to GFJ a long while back. So, is this going to blow up? Who knows? I probably deserve this if it does blow up in my face. And I will miss GFJ very much if she were to leave me. Will it be the end of the world? No. But it will hurt for a while....
PS: The lady on OK Cupid said that she wouldn't tell GFJ anything. So I promised her that I wouldn't hurt GFJ, then set to disable my accounts there.