Monday, October 24, 2016

Wishing I were in Provincetown - again!

Provincetown, MA.  It's the home of this year's Fantasia Fair. And by the time you read this entry, it'll be over.  I have friends at Fantasia Fair that I've only have met once, but miss tremendously because we've kept in touch via the internet over the years.

What is so special about this place?  Is it the GLBT friendly attitude of the natives?  Is it memories I have of my wife and I sharing many good times in this town? Could it simply be a place where mankind has not destroyed a fragile part of nature, and where there seems to be a kind of beautiful truce?  I don't know the answer. But I do know that I never grow tired of visiting this place, and I wish I could have justified spending several days there at the time of this year's Fantasia Fair.

Over the years, I have spent a lot of time in P'town. My wife and I used to visit on a semi-regular basis.  After she died, I visited there with several of my girl friends, most notably Patty and Ex-GF-M. I'll always have very special memories of my long weekend there with Patty, as it was her way of saying thanks to me for caring for her while she was literally unable to stand on her own two feet.  (She had had a pair of operations which kept her in a wheelchair for several months, repairing damage to both feet caused by an accidental misstep at a NYC street corner.) And it was my second to last time there (accompanied by Ex-GF-M) that I saw my friend Barbara last.

The last time I tried to make it to P'town was for an overnight trip. My friend Barbara (who once owned the local B&B in Croton) was on her death bed due to a cancer that metastasized from her colon to her brain.  I contacted the people running Fantasia Fair, and explained that I couldn't afford the fair this year, and wanted to come overnight while I visited my friend in hospice during the day.  The folks from the fair were very understanding, and made it possible for me to attend for a single night.  Sadly, Barbara died a week beforehand, and I no longer could justify driving up to P'town any longer.

I've always meant to make it up to P'town again, if only for another visit to Fantasia Fair.  But in the past few years, I had work conflicts which conflicted with the fair.  Then I lost my job (for the first time) and couldn't justify going up while collecting unemployment insurance and looking for work. Last year, I had told Lili that I couldn't afford the cruise we were on, and I couldn't excuse a trip to P'town and accept help from Lili to take the cruise.

This year, I am unemployed again, and I could use a couple of days in P'town with the weather they are expecting for the middle of the week.  But I am not going to spend the money this year, as I need to make my bank account last a lot longer than expected.  So again, I will miss visiting a place that means so much to me.... 

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