It's been several years now, that I haven't visited California. I miss the place. Specifically, I miss visiting San Francisco.
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At this time 20 years ago, my wife was getting sicker and sicker each day. She was in chemo, and had lost her hair. If I knew then what I know now, I might have taken her on one last trip - and looked for cues of which location was most important to her - as I would be scattering her ashes there one year later.
Throughout that last year of her life, I was taking her to doctors and hospitals - all with the same goal - to preserve her life. Sadly, this was not to be. She always wanted to live in San Francisco, and I once saw a diary entry which talked about her dreams of living there.
Would she have been happy in San Francisco? I know that the place always makes me a little bit more happy when I visit. Yes, I know that being able to go out and about as Marian always makes me happy, and that San Francisco was the first place in which I really felt free to do so.
If I had stayed in my job of 30 years, I'd have probably taken a trip there this summer, with a train trip to bring me home. But now, not having a job, I'll have to dream about seeing California again.