Tuesday, September 20, 2016

The Vacation Ended

I thought the day was going to be much worse.  My boss held a belated weekly status meeting, and it went better than expected.  Yet, I think I'm on my way out. When I mentioned my work load, he mentioned that I should be preparing more for my meetings and have questions for him.  The reality is that we communicate poorly, and that's something that bodes poorly for any working relationship.

In a way, I've stopped giving a hoot about trying to keep the job.  My emotions are invested elsewhere, and it might be a relief to leave.  Yes, I'll keep trying to do the best I can do, and try to keep the job.  But with my heart in another place, it will be a relief not to deal with him or this client.

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With all that being said, I actually had a reasonably good day.  The weather was perfect, and I was able to go outside for lunch. My boss stayed out of my hair, and I was able to do some preparation for Wednesday's meeting.  Will it be enough?  Probably not. But at least I will try to do my best.

Unfortunately, I left the office too late to catch the train I wanted. So I didn't get home until 7:45 pm. And by that point, it didn't make sense for me to get into Marian Mode and do some retail therapy.  I was in the mood to go to Newburgh and see my favorite saleslady. But at the time I made it home, it made more sense to get comfortable and prepare for an early evening bedtime. 

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I figure that I'll be able to do some retail therapy on Wednesday.  At this point, I don't think it's my wish to spend more time that is the root cause of my workplace problems.  Instead, it is my lack of sleep coupled with a boss with whom I don't communicate well that is the problem.  I no longer have any confidence that I'll be able to keep the job.  Too much has happened over the past six months to make me feel that my position is salvageableBut I feel that the pressure is off of me, now that my dad is in the nursing home. My brother has taken care of the financial issues, and I am able to focus more clearly these days. 

Strangely enough, most of the time I go for some retail therapy these days, I no longer am buying things.  My closet is packed, and the only thing I may need to buy is a pair of rain boots in my size.  Since there are very few rain boots in my size, I'm in no hurry to buy anything. And that's a good thing.

I just wonder what it would be like if I had a smaller shoe size and a smaller dress size....



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