It's been a very long time since I've been able to go to the Whine And Dine group's dinners. The main reasons are: (1) They are not announced far enough ahead for me to make arrangements to attend, (2) That these dinners are scheduled on an impromptu basis, and (3) My commute makes it impossible to get home, change into Marian, and get there in time for anything but drinks.
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Luckily, I was able to avoid rain all day. It was overcast when I took the train in, and it was overcast when I took the train home. But I didn't get rained on. If anything, the way the weather has been for the past couple of days, I'd have something to be thankful for.
Since I usually mention work in passing, I was expecting to have a rougher day than I did have. Mind you, my boss is dotting his I's and crossing his T's, to make sure that he is doing everything called for to show that he has given me every chance and then some. And as much as I chafe under the bit, I feel it is good for us because we are both forced to learn how to communicate effectively with each other. But it does nothing in regard to show that I can handle responsibility. Either way, once I hit the 6 month mark, if the worst happens, I'll be eligible for unemployment insurance - another $11,000 over 6 months that will help me stretch out my savings that much longer.
Today, I planned to get out of work at 5:30 pm, and have a shot of doing some shopping at The Avenue (as if I needed more clothes) this evening. Unfortunately, I didn't even make it out of the office until 7:00 pm (with work left to do), knowing I'd have a limited shot at doing the laundry I couldn't do last night. And when I got home, I sorted out the laundry that needed to be done ASAP in one washer - and took care of things before the 10:00 pm witching hour.
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I was really hoping that I'd make it home by 7:30 pm, as I would have skipped out on laundry, turned myself into Marian, and gone shopping. During the day, I exchanged some emails with WDJ, and I asked her what she thought other women thought of me. She responded with the following:
I think most like 80% are pre-judgemental & 20% are neutral. In the 80% some are pro-trans, some are anti-trans. With all that goes on in the world, why even bat an eyelash?
As long as I'm not hurting anyone, or I'm not suffering because of others' hatred, why not go forth proudly as a transgender person?
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Later on in the week, I'm either going to try and see BXM -or- see the Cat Lady from New Jersey. As much as it'd be nice to keep in touch with her, I doubt that she'd be interested in a transgender person like me. Even more, I'm not going to go for the devil I don't know by putting my relationship with GFJ at risk. Yet, I know that I have to keep my options open until GFJ knows where she wants to go in life, and is free to do so.
Yes, being transgender poses a lot of tricky issues. But we get to see the world from viewpoints that few people have the privilege of seeing. And I wouldn't trade it for the world, even though I wouldn't have chosen it for myself....