Thursday, July 28, 2016

To blog, or not to blog - that is the question

Every night, I try to generate an entry for this blog.  Sometimes, I have a lot to write about.  And other times, I have nothing to write about.  Even so, I try to get even a small piece of writing in each night.

More often as of late, I find that I'm writing about things related to being transgender in passing - if at all.  But I do enjoy writing, as it is a healthy way of venting my frustrations at the end of the day.  But then, when one doesn't have much of a social life due to work, it's hard to go out en-femme and enjoy the world.

The other day, I outed myself to my niece. I'm very surprised (in a pleasant way) how well she  reacted when I showed her pictures of myself en-femme.  As I noted in another entry, it was the first time she saw a really happy smile on my face. And I think that it is this inner happiness that finally is coming out that propels me to keep exploring life more as Marian, and less as Mario.

Recently, I've been thinking of changing the frequency of this blog.  But I would lose contact with the people who really care about is going on with me.  So I keep plugging away, as I feel that this blog is worth the effort I put in to it.  Writing is a discipline, and doing a little bit of it each night helps a great deal.  I find I'm better able to express myself, in part, because I have to try and do so on a daily basis.

When I eventually go on my late Autumn cruise, I will have over two weeks' worth of blog entries ready to go.  Regular readers will easily sense when I'm away, and they will know how to tell when I've come back. And there will be stories to tell - virtually all of them being about spending time en-femme without any way of falling back to being Mario.

The most important thing I miss due to work is the time I used to spend en-femme.  I had developed new friendships, and started to enjoy life for the first time.  It was much easier to bond with people, especially women, as I was allowed by social convention to have a wider range of friendships....

Alas, it's getting late and I have to get to work early in the morning.  So I'll sign off until tomorrow, and hope that your life is doing well....

1 comment:

  1. Marian,

    I do try to check in on your blog when time permits and I do like to keep up with the twists and turns of your bi-gendered life.

    I take the position that for many of us there needs to be an outlet, or multiple outlets, for us to connect with our femme personna.
    I think that a day with out a tangible connection to being femme would be frustrating and stressful. I underdress almost daily and when I get home from work I often partially or fully dress or, at a minimum sleep in a nightgown. I believe that you have written that you do not underdress or partially dress so this connection to being femme that sustains me at times may not be part of Marian. In your case, however, I surmise that making your daily blog entry is an important connection that you have/need to keep you grounded, connected to your femme side and at peace. It may be that the daily ritual of writing your blog helps remove the stress of the day and the routine adds to your emotional and psychic stability.

    I suppose that is a long way of simply implying that your writing from Marian's point of view helps give balance to all aspects of your person.