Thursday, July 21, 2016
Cleaning up before the cleaning lady comes.
By now, loyal readers of this blog know that for the past few months, I have had only a small fraction of my time available for me to go out in Marian Mode. I truly miss the opportunities I had to experience the world en-femme, and now can only count on Thursday evenings to experience the world as the authentic me.
But what about Thursdays in the daytime?
As you are aware, I've had a full time job since the end of February. The commute wears away at me, and I don't have the time (or energy) to keep my place as clean as I'd like. I've been unable to eliminate much of the clutter around my place, as my time and energy is taken up between work and dating GFJ, and now with dealing with issues with my dad becoming old and frail. And I am thankful to have a cleaning lady that I can trust come into the apartment and do a little magic to make my place presentable.
One problem with having a cleaning lady is that I have to do some cleaning before she gets here. Usually, I do this on a Tuesday or Wednesday night when I get home. Most recently, this included folding laundry which was sitting around in baskets, stashing my feminine goods back into the closets, and then getting clutter off the floor - so that more of the place can be properly vacuumed.
Is my place really clean?
Probably not. Unless I get my clutter under control, all this lady does is to shift deck chairs on the Titanic. Yes, I make things sound worse than they are. But this T-Gal is very glad that someone else is doing this work, so that she can go out and earn a good living - which is more than many T-Gals can say.
Why is this important?
I'm one of the lucky people. I go about and about without people bothering me (so far) while en-femme. Do I notice anyone wondering or commenting about me? No, and I hope it stays that way. But I think it's because of many factors. First, I'm technically obese. Since no one likes looking at a fat lady too much, I have a degree of invisibility. Second, I do my darnedest to present myself in the same way a cisgender woman of my age would present herself. And third, although my voice will likely fail a "telephone test", it is good enough for being with people. So I have had many chances to perfect my feminine mannerisms, and to develop confidence in my female role.
But not all people are so lucky. They live in fear. I chose to live in confidence. There are good reasons to fear - especially when one isn't completely out to the world. And in my case, I've never been open about this side of me with my cleaning lady. So, once every two weeks, Marian's stuff gets put away, and taken out again when I come home at the end of the day. Is it an optimal way to live life? No. But it is the way I'll have to live until I can afford to be "out" 24x7.....