Saturday, June 25, 2016

My closet runneth over....


Over the past few years, I've made regular additions to my female closet, while neglecting my male closet.  This is quite understandable, as I've had 58 years to perfect a male wardrobe, and less than a 10th of that to perfect a female wardrobe.  I've made mistakes, but have developed a style that leans towards wearing skirts dresses in many informal situations.

Today's woman leans towards wearing trousers more than I do.  Why?  They are very convenient - for example, a woman never has to worry about a pant leg being caught in a breeze and exposing her underwear. But this means that she surrenders one of the most feminine of garments to convenience.

The other day, I started moving winter clothes to my closet from storage containers, and placing my summer clothes into those newly vacated containers.  There was a large number of winter weight dresses in those containers, including sweater dresses that can only be worn when the weather is cold. This caused me to realize how many garments I've bought in the past few years and how little I really need to buy - unless I want to start wearing women's trousers in the winter.

But what are the remaining gaps in my feminine wardrobe (and accessories)?

For the most part, these gaps are relatively small and minor.  Although I own a pair of women's snow boots, I've yet to buy a pair of women's rain boots because it is hard to find an affordable pair in my size.  Next, I really should get a mastectomy swimsuit (as well as swim breast forms) - or, convert the regular women's swimsuit I own to have pockets for swim breast forms. Then, I could use a few long tunics - which would make it much more comfortable for me to wear leggings - the way many cisgender women would in informal situations.

Then there are the times I want to feel sexy....

Lately, I've noticed that clothes do help influence how one feels.  On Thanksgiving, when I wore the dress below, I felt sexy as hell....



What I didn't say to Lili, was that if I had the usual equipment found under a dress, I'd have gone on the prowl that night and looked for someone who could make me enjoy looking at at a nearby ceiling.  And this dovetails with a conversation I had with our co-op's president.  When I had our first meal with her as Marian, we chatted about impractical clothing such as corsets, garter belts with stockings, silky nightgowns, etc... We noted how awkward these garments are to wear, but how good they make you feel due to the effort it takes to put them on. We also noted things such as how it feels to wear silky stockings and how men never can appreciate how it feels to have a hand glide over a stockinged leg. It seems that there is now a part of me that is starting to react as a cisgender female would - where the clothes themselves enhance a woman's feelings of sexuality and of power. I'm also starting to think that a woman's power is linked to her sexuality in ways that even women are not conscious of - and so far, I'm only getting a small hint of what cisgender women know instinctively.

Of course, there is an element of frustration here.  I'd never be able to share this side of me with GFJ (assuming we were to last for the long term), as she wants a man in bed. And, there is little chance that I'd find a woman who wants a person like me.  So, it's a trade-off I'll have to make on my road to femininity.....






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