Most days, I end up talking with GFJ on the phone when she's not here. There's often not much to say. But this is common among many people - we have relatively uneventful lives, and have little that breaks up our daily routine that gives us interesting things to talk about. Am I being too critical? Probably not. I see life for what it is - a lot of repetitive actions taken over a period of time which preserves the integrity of the individual unit. Damn, that sounds bleak - and I don't mean to be so.
But what makes life worth living? (No, I'm not in a depressed mood here. I'm just commenting on the nature of life itself.) To me, it's the event that breaks up the monotony of life, and helps provide meaning by either something missing from or added to one's experiences. Some cultures make sure that there are enough celebrations and ritual days to help people find meaning. Others depend on the individual to develop his/her own experiences. In either case, we find meaning through the disruption of routine, and not from the routine itself.
For me, I enjoy being with GFJ. She's like that warm blanket on a cold day - she makes me feel comfortable and warm. Yet, there are times I could do without her - like today - as this gives me the chance to spend a weekend day or two with friends as Marian, and not Mario. In a way, this helps provide meaning to my life - the absence of GFJ and the presence of Marian.
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When I woke up today, I knew I need not rush to get out the door. But I had a daytime "date" with YGM out in Eastern Connecticut - something I rarely have a chance to do, given that GFJ is around most weekends. I figured that leaving here would bring me to YGM's place by 2:00 pm, with time for 15 minutes at Catherine's for bra shopping. Boy, was I wrong! The rain was playing havoc on the roads today - and the Eastbound trip took me almost 3 hours! But I did get those bras....
While on the road, I find that my brother was making an unplanned trip North, and wanted a suggestion of where to go. There was no way that I'd consider meeting him today, especially considering I was in Marian Mode already. So I told him to continue on Route 287, cross the TZ Bridge, and then head towards Bear Mountain. (Later he told me that it was a great idea. I'll bet that he wished he could stop by my place - but I wasn't going to tell him how close he was.) All of this was going on while I was stuck in slow traffic on Route 95.
Arriving at YGM's place, I met her mom. (YGM had not yet gotten home from McDonald's, where she often brings her kids to play.) We chatted for a bit, and then YGM arrived. After a little consideration (I had to be back on the road by 6:00 pm), we ended up going to the mall - where her kids could play, and we could talk about more important things. While on the road, he mom called and suggested a movie for us. (She didn't completely "get" that I had to leave by 6:00 pm and that the two of us needed to chat about YGM's problems. After the call ended YGM noted - my mom thinks you are a cisgender woman, and it looks like she wants you as a friend. (Do I present that well?) After we finally got the kids away from us, our "intimate" chat started. Although things were going better for YGM, things are strained, and she's under stresses of her own that I won't discuss here. Hopefully, I'll get the chance to see her again soon....
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I was running late on the drive home, and I called GFJ to let her know that I was an hour behind her. So she decided to do some shopping for her upcoming vacation. (She needed a suitcase - among several things.) This allowed me to get home, change back to Mario, and be ready for her arrival a little after 9:00 pm.