Sunday, April 10, 2016
A few weeks ago, BXM and I tried to get together, and she volunteered to pick me up at a Metro North railroad station - and to see me in male mode for the first time. Since I've seen how some of my friends (including Lili, Vicki, and most recently WPB) make the he/she pronoun mistake (when relaxed) if they know me in both modes, I don't want this to happen with BXM. So I declined her offer, and decided to wait until a night where we could get together with me in Marian mode.
On Thursday, I called BXM while driving home from the Scrabble game at WPB's house, and realized that I did the right thing for completely different reasons. BXM has had 3 accidents since we last talked with each other, none of them were completely her fault, but her actions in not reporting any of them to the police (2 hit and runs, and 1 rear ending) has put her in a position where no one will rent her a car. (No, I'm not going to go into any more details here, because I don't want to give away any information that could be used to identify her.) I do not consider her to be a safe driver, as her explanation of how she dealt with a problem on the road made me think that she's no longer quick enough with her thinking to stay on the road.
For all I know, she's still a safe driver with a lot of bad luck. But I don't want to take the risk of having her behind the wheel with me as a passenger - especially when she has to deal with the cognitive dissonance that will occur with me presenting as a male, but her knowing me as a female. There is enough confusion possible, that cognitive overload would affect her ability to drive. And I certainly don't want to add another person to the class of people, who when relaxed, think of me for a brief moment as a male - using the wrong pronoun at exactly the wrong moment.