Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, It's off to work we go....

When I started the day, I entertained the possibility of going home a few minutes early, and changing into Marian Mode, so that I could go shopping en-femme.  I'm glad that I wasn't counting on this, as I didn't make it home until after 9:00 pm.

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As I've mentioned many times, I have a two hour commute between home and office. This means that if all trains are running on schedule, I'll leave my house at 7:15 am then arrive at the office at 9:15 am, and later, leave the office at 5:15 pm, and get home by 7:15 pm.  Today, my boss kept us around until 6:45 pm, showing us around some of the things we'll need to know in order to do our jobs.  (Before you think he didn't pay attention to our needs, he asked both of us if we had other plans - and both my coworker and I stayed the extra time needed to get needed uninterrupted time with my boss.) What I didn't mention so far, is that I was given a project - a client with a simple change that needs to be done.  And I'll be starting on this project in the morning. 

I am a bit nervous, and I admitted it in front of my boss.  It's been a while since I had the chance to prove myself on the job, and it's nice to have that chance again.  I knew that taking this job would get in the way of me going out as Marian. But it also gives me the money to afford being Marian when I have the time to go out with the ladies.

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GFJ may not be completely comfortable when I admit that I look forward to her going on Saturday hikes, so that I can get some time out as Marian.  This is the price she'll have to pay to be with me. I'm not getting in the way of her developing the friendships she wants and needs for the next stage of her life. And I hope she recognizes that I need the same amount of freedom to do the same thing - in my unusual way.  (It's hard for me to be authentic when I'm in Mario Mode. And it's even harder for me to make the friends I want and need this way.)    

Ideally, I'd have found a local job that would have afforded me the ability to earn enough money to keep a roof over my head, and live my daytime hours as Marian.  Having money in the bank is a trade-off I willingly make for now.  But as retirement age approaches, I'll have many hard decisions to make.  Will I continue to live my life playing hopscotch across the gender divide?  Or, will I bite the bullet, and move towards full social and medical transition?  Only time will tell.  But for now, I'll keep my options open as long as possible....


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