Thursday, March 31, 2016

Whining and Dining ....again

Although this picture doesn't have all of the Whine and Dine regulars, it's representative of the camaraderie that the ladies of the Whine and Dine group have.  I was able to tell the ladies that I found a job, and guess what question came to mind....

Before you answer the question, remember that they know that I'm transgender and live my life on both sides of the gender aisle.....

"In what gender did you accept the job?"

When women are comfortable enough to accept me as a peer, and are comfortable enough with my "transness" to ask that question, I know one thing - I am an accepted and welcome part of the group.

Although I mentioned that I'd like to transition while on the job, I suspect that I'll delay any transition until I lose about 100 lbs., and work in a place with a better commute (or have retired from the place I work now).  This will give me the time to get all my ducks in a row, and fully prepare for a life lived as Marian instead of as Mario.

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Vicki feels that Marian is accepted much more than Mario as my female persona has not been crippled by events in my past.  This may be true.  But I feel that it is much more than that.  Yet, I can't be certain of anything until I've gone through therapy with a therapist specially qualified in gender related issues.

Once I go on hormones, there is no turning back.  I have to be ready for a second puberty, including the headaches of a rewiring of my brain, as well as the redistribution of fat cells, and the development of breasts.  Once I do that, I'll always need to wear a bra - and "suffer" like any other female.  I intend to get facial feminization surgery when the time is right, as I don't want a masculine looking face once I start on the final path to transition.

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One of these days, I'll have to check in on Fran to see how she's doing.  I'll want to see how hormones have affected her, as well as how she feels she has changed while under the influence of "E".  Unlike Fran, I have no intention of dressing to stand out.  Instead, I plan to continue dressing to blend in.  This, I feel, will be the key to my social transition to a female life.

There is so much to learn, and many things will get in the way - romance being one of them. But if all goes "sort of" right, I should be able to do a social transition by the time I retire, if not beforehand.

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