Tuesday, February 2, 2016

I got an offer, and it might bring more changes than I'd like.

I got this email Friday night at 11:00 pm, and it represents much more potential change in my life than it appears....

Can you provide a few times you are available for me to call you on Monday to present a contingent verbal offer for the Project Manager position? 
I look forward to speaking with you!  If you need to speak with me over the weekend, please call me at the cell phone number listed below

I sent this lady an email response telling her that I was available any time after 10:30 am today.  (I was not going to interrupt her weekend just to tell her my availability by phone.) Since this email was sent over the weekend and this woman is on Mountain time (HR is in Colorado), I didn't expect a call until 11:00 am at best.

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This job pays well. But it will be a big stretch to do what will be expected of me. I believe that I can do this, so I'm not very worried about the effort I'll have to make in this area. However, it will put a very big roadblock into my development as Marian, and my opportunities to socialize as Marian. This is why I half wanted NOT to get the job offer. With a two hour commute each way, I would not have enough time to socialize during the week, save a late arrival at Thursday game nights. Weekends would be reserved for GFJ (and occasional family visits) for the most part. So this liability of not being able to go out as Marian is what bothers me the most.

I know that the job will affect my ability to write entries for this blog, as I will have less material and less time to dedicate to it.  But I'll try to write as often as I can.  (So please sign up and be notified of new entries!)  Yet, I think I'll have some interesting things to write - just less often than I'd like.

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But what does this mean for my need to go out as Marian?  This is a question I can not yet answer.  From going out several times each week for the full day, I might have to go back to being Marian one night per week.  Will this be enough for me to deal with my level of discomfort of being Mario?

When I mentioned the possibility of getting this job at the GLBT center, the fellow in charge noted that they have a contact who specializes in helping GLBT prople (especially trans people) find work - and would put me in contact with him.  I wish I knew about him several weeks ago, as I'd have jumped at using this man's knowledge and contacts to find work as Marian.

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It seems like life keeps throwing me curve balls.  When I told GFJ about this, she noted that Marian will have to get used to going out less.  But when I told Lili about this, she was more worried about me blowing things up in negotiations, than for this job and me to fit well together.  The reality is that I want to find a way to be able to (1) Keep going to my Thursday night game venue, and (2) being able to keep going to my doctor and dentist on a regular schedule without losing vacation time for these visits. And I'm going to try and do this during this phase of the hiring process.

Am I being realistic?  I think so.  Unlike most people, I assume that I have some wiggle room to negotiate things, as long as I don't break corporate policy regarding benefits and pay to do so.  Since I'm not asking for anything unreasonable (such as more vacation time, beyond policy guidelines), I have a good shot at getting what I need. (I have to thank the outsourcing firm my former company used for giving me this insight.)

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With all this happening, I find it an interesting footnote that I went to the Hudson Valley Poly Group meeting tonight.  Given my upcoming schedule, this might be the last time I see these people for a while.  And it was a very quiet exit for me....


  1. Congratulations on the offer! Patieence is a virtue... I know you'll make the right decision, whatever that turns out to be.


  2. Mandy -

    I got everything I asked for, so I have established a start date with the new firm. It's going to be a bit of a shock at first. But I'm looking forward to getting back in the game. Hopefully, I'll be able to keep up with a daily posting schedule. I should have a variety of things to talk about, even if more of them are not transgender related.