Saturday, August 3, 2013

Am I really sure I want to do this?

As I've mentioned before, my friend L (the jewelry lady) is not the type for me to get too close to, since she's not in touch with her feelings and self medicates with food, shopping, etc. in order to quiet them down.  (My therapist also gives me trouble about my weight, but with me - it's pure laziness and a bit of ambivalence.) But last night gave me pause, and makes me wonder whether I should bother with the cruise.... 

One thing I've learned through years of therapy is to assume people are only human, and not to expect them to do anything but follow their own interests.  The key phrase is that "they are only human", which means people are flawed. One has to set limits of what you'll do for people AND what you'll expect from people. L, on the other hand, does not set limits well - and is very disappointed when people fail to live up to her expectations.  

Last night, L's son, B, told her that he wouldn't (at the last minute) cancel a day off that he was spending with his girlfriend to paint rooms in a house his mother owns.  His mom expected him to drop everything, claiming that getting the apartment ready for rent is more important than spending time with his girlfriend.  B said that he needed to give his boss notice so he could take a day off early in the week - and his mom wasn't happy.  She wanted to be able to show that apartment to potential renters by Tuesday.  She was extremely unhappy and was shouting at him over the phone....  It was a very unpleasant scene, and I was an ear-witness to it.

So, I'm very concerned about going on the cruise, and am glad we didn't book it yet.  

While I'm making a decision, I'll leave you with this ditty....

Sea Cruise


  1. The cruise sounds great...but some of the other issues may be "red flags." It's a decision you'll have to make, and a very difficult one at that.

    1. Mandy -

      Yes - and that's the point. The red flags were always there, but I was willing to risk them. Now, I'm not sure....