Friday, November 30, 2012

Way up North....

This afternoon, it's a trip to "the North Country" to party with friends to whom I was introduced this Summer.  Although I've been out and about en-femme near home, I still feel warmly torards this group of people with whom I feel very comfortable with en-femme.   Given things which might be happening at the office, this might be one of the last times I'm able to see this group without having to budget my money for the trip.  (I won't go into late middle-age career blues here - we all know the problems....)  So this month's meeting will have special meaning to me. 

On the way up to the party, I plan on doing some accessory shopping for myself.  I could use a more compact ladies' wallet, as well as a pair of gloves.  Christmas time is perfect for this kind of shopping.  There is a lot of stock on hand, and at my size, that's essential to finding things that fit in the colors I want most.  Otherwise, it's mail order and hope for the best.

The more I go out in the world, I notice that I have to plan for the little things.  For example, I might end up staying the night at this party, crash on the couch, and drive back en-femme in the morning.  If I end up doing this, I'll have to have a change of underwear, as well as a second set of tights/stockings. So, after laying out what I wanted to wear, I found that the outfit dictated the shoes I'd be wearing, as well as influencing the hosiery I'd need for the evening.  (I wanted to wear boots, but the outfit calls for flats or simple heels.  This means I'd likely want to wear tights, as it gets cold where I'll be.)  It's amazing how tricky dressing appropriately as a woman can get.  As they say, a gal can't have too many shoes.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Shopping and Dining....

Today was a day off from work, and as I like to put it with friends - I did damage to my brother's credit cards.  Yes, I had the chance to go shopping!!!

My brother won't mind too much - the shoes were from Payless, Makeup remover from Walmart, etc....  Not much damage to speak of.  But it was fun to get out and be in the stores.   But I did find a wonderful sweater

Although the quality of the image stinks, you might notice the details on the sweater I bought.  The vertical opening is scalloped - it's a great feminine detail, and yet not too frou frou.  I loved this sweater from the minute I saw it.  It will go great with most things I own.

Later on in the day, I met with an ex-girlfriend and her husband for dinner.  They are great people - and I'm very glad that they met each other, as they balance each other so well.  (And I seem to get along with both of them equally well.)  Both friends asked about me being trans and what attracts me to emulating a female.  (Stana, thanks for the word "femulate" that you coined - it's perfect for what we do.)  I was very glad to answer any and all questions they had.  And I had fun joking about myself as well - jokes that would have meaning to my friends, but will not get posted here.

Sadly, because of a communications screw up, they didn't get the chance to see me in female mode.  I'd have loved to be wearing the outfit above when we had dinner tonight.  Well, maybe next time....

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Another Quickie, but from New York....

It's a bitch taking identification, credit cards, car registration/insurance out of a male wallet and moving them to a female wallet.  Too bad that one needs to present Licence, Registration, and Insurance cards if stopped by a policeman.

Where am I going, you might ask?   Well, today, I had arranged to see an old friend who I haven't seen in ages.  She knows about this side of me, and I was halfway to her place when I realized that I didn't have the required documents.  The last thing I needed was to need these items when either stopped by a police officer or in an accident.  Since I hate urban driving with a passion (one has to be hyper alert in city traffic), I begged off the visit while on the way to see her.  She must have been disappointed, and hopefully, we'll be able to get together later in the week, or next week....

How do other trans people deal with this type of problem when shuttling between their male and female presentations?

Saturday, November 24, 2012

A Quickie from Philly

As the Post's title implies - this one will be quick and to the point.

On Friday, I met my girlfriend and went to Philadelphia to explore the city a little.  Well, we stayed at a quaint old hotel, and I noticed something I haven't seen in many hotels - a special makeup mirror with its own light.  This shouldn't mean too much, but to a cross dresser, it's a godsend! 

One person in the hospitality industry commented that if a hotel room is well designed for use by women, it will attract more customers.  Well, for this trans person, I know where I will stay the next time I'm in the "City of Brotherly Love"....

Friday, November 23, 2012

Thanksgiving Postscript

Turkey day with the family was quite interesting.  No, I didn't out myself to anyone.  But I did find out that my niece is interested in many of the things I'm interested in.  (I can't wait to see the man she eventually brings home to see the family....)  But first....

My niece was a photography major at FIT, and recently finished off all of the requirements to be awarded her degree.  At 23 years old, she has time before she has to be well set in her career, so she's having fun living the bohemian life.  (I wish I had her courage when I was her age.  In many ways, she's the woman I wish i could have been at that age.)  We got into discussing California and the fact that so many of her friends from school have moved out to the Coast.  I started to describe many of the people I saw in San Francisco, and her soul seemed like it wanted to migrate to the Bay Area.

Now, SF wouldn't be such a big deal, but we then started talking about the quirky nature of the town - such as open nudism finally being prohibited from most areas of the city, except during such functions as the Folsom Street Fair.  She picked up on that, as both of us understood what goes on there - and she realized that there is a hidden side of me that hasn't been revealed to the family.  (Right now, she probably thinks it's Leather, and that's fine for now....)  From there, we talked about a hotels in NY (both of us knowing a funky one in the West Village, and she having stayed there one night) and in California (the Madonna Inn, a funky place that she salivated over once I showed her the pictures of the rooms.)  So, she has started to pick up a vibe that there's more to me than the doting uncle - and I wonder whether she'll finally pick up on my invation to find out more....

With all this being said, I had fun reworking the story behind a picture I took with Meg, subtitled with "to boldly go where no man has gone before...."  In my reworking, I suggested that Rupaul and one of his friends be photographed (in drag) in the ladies' loo, and that the phrase be attached to the shot.  My niece and my brother got a kick out of the idea, but little do they know the real story behind the idea....  I hope that someday I can safely tell my niece the real story and show her the photo - she may be the only one in the family who might understand.  But there is no hurry....

Thursday, November 22, 2012


Turducken, that wonderful treat from N'awlins (and Cajun country) seems to symbolize my holiday.  With just one bird, things would be very incomplete.  But, add stuffing, seasonings, and two other birds, cook it for a few hours, and you have something special and rich for gratitude is easy to show.  And this is how I feel today.

Several years ago, I was stuck in a dead-end relationship with a woman who was destroying my self-esteem to preserve a codependent relationship.  I was gaining weight, and dreading each holiday that came.  It was as if an albatross was hanging around my neck, and there was no way out.  Last year, I chucked that albatross (with the relationship), and all began to change.

This year, I was finally able to let the "Marian" side of me come out.  I felt freer than I have ever felt in ages when I was spending a week on the West Coast en femme.  And my confidence has only grown since then.  A visit to Fantasia Fair (where I got great make up tips) and a trip to DC (where I got to meet Meg) only helped to cement the feelings I now have about myself.  And even with the problems I expect to be facing next year, I have a lot to be thankful for.

Could the boy side of me function without the girl side?  Yes.  But definitely not as well.  Could I have grown had I stayed in the dead-end relationship?  Yes, but the growth would not have been as fast or as healthy.  Could I have started to lose weight otherwise?  Again, Yes, but it would have been much, much harder than it is for me now.  In short, my life is like the Turducken - something assembled from an assortment of things, but much better than any of its components - and something I am very grateful to have....

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Bloggers of the world, Unite!

I finally met one of the bloggers whose blog helped give me the courage to go out in the world, and experience it en-femme.  Kim (Traveling Transgendered) is a great person - drab or pretty!  (Although Kim has posted her Male name in her blog, I'll keep things simple and refer to Kim en-femme.)  Hopefully, Kim will be back here soon - both of us wished that the clock did not have to spin its hands so quickly....

What many people don't realize is that there are two types of cross dressers - one who wants to enjoy all of the wardrobe choices women have - from adolescence to adulthood, and the other who wants to simply enjoy the clothing options available to women of our own age.  Kim and I fall into the latter group.  And we discussed many things from who gave us our first makeovers to the headaches of being pretty during a warm, hot summer. 

Sadly, Kim had to pack for her return trip home.  I know she'll be very thankful to be home and to see her family - they sound like great people....   So I'll wish her a very Happy Holiday and hope we'll be in the same place at the same time soon....

Sunday, November 18, 2012

In front and behind the Eight Ball...

OK, so I'm stretching a little bit.  But it describes perfectly the day I had.

This morning, I met up with an old friend, and discussed our mutual problems over breakfast.  This friend, having seen my pictures of being out and about said that she'd like to accompany me (in female mode) for a night on the town sometime.  I'll love doing that - it'll be a treat having someone who enjoys this side of me that I can use as a mirror to perfect my presentation.  So I figure that I have to reserve some time for her in December or January....

I admit to a blogger's vice - I love meeting the people whose blogs I read.  Any person who can captivate me with his/her words and experiences must be interesting enough for me to meet at least once.  And so far this has proven to be true with Meg and Stana.  Well, another blogger is in town (for I don't know how long, but I expect will be home by Wednesday), and I might be able to see her if the stars are in alignment....  But with what each of us has to take care of in a short time, I'm not sure if this will be possible on this trip.

Meeting another blogger, nor is having breakfast with a GG friend what I wanted to focus on in this post.  Instead, it was a visit to a bar having a monthly transgender night.  Even in female mode, I don't like dancing.  Mind you, I might feel differently if it were ballroom dancing going on.  Since I'm still getting used to the mechanics of using a pocketbook, I don't like leaving it unattended to go on a dance floor.  It's easy to understand why women carry simple clutches (and let their men carry the important stuff) when they go to anywhere in formal garb - the small clutch can carry a minimal amount of stuff, and doesn't have to be left unattended if needed....

Now, I didn't want to drive an hour to Danbury and drive an hour back without having done something enjoyable.  So I wandered near the pool table, and dropped some money on the side, placing myself on the queue of people waiting to play.  The first thing I noticed while waiting is that females in semi-formal wear don't necessarily look good shooting pool.  The next thing was more important - when I started using a cue stick, my boobs were getting in the way.  No wonder why women let men take care of some tasks....  What surprized me was that I still could shoot a tolerable game.  In fact, in one game of 8-ball, I even got lucky and sunk the 8-ball on the break, winning the game in one shot.  (Did I tell you that I used to love shooting pool as a kid?)  I did receive one compliment from one of the people I shot pool with - (s)he said that I was very passible.  I don't know if that's true, but it did make me feel good.

After I lost control of the table the second time, I decided to leave.  I have a lot to do over the next few days (seeing my GF and my dad will cover tomorrow, followed by seeing the blogger I mentioned earlier, and then buying a new computer before the one I'm using fails completely.).  Hopefully, I can get everything I need to have done completed by Wednesday.  I'd hate having to shop for a replacement computer on Black Friday....

Friday, November 16, 2012

Being wary of being boring

One of the liabilities of being "Out" to one's friends, is that in the early days it's easy to be like a kid in a candy shop with a fist full of coins.  What I mean is that the topic of being "Out" tends to come up a lot more often than it should with friends, and one risks the possibility of becoming incredibly boring.  I've been grateful to have friends who've tolerated my penchant for talking, but I'll bet that they've gotten tired of me at times.  So I have to watch out what I'm talking about, lest I accidentally push these friends out of my life by being self absorbed.

I wonder how many trans people have had this type of experience.  It's probably more common than many of us would like to admit.  Once we find that we can be open about ourselves, a lot of pent up feelings start flowing into words drowning out anything else that can be coming along from others.  How long does this phase last?  It probably varies from person to person, but it is likely to depend on the euphoria one is feeling.

The next big question - being in stealth mode or being in the open?  Once one has worked on the voice, one can eliminate one of the big "tells" that give us away as trans people.  Then, many of us have the option of going into stealth mode.  There is one blogger who is debating whether to participate in mainstream activities in the male or female persona.  The majority of the readers advised the blogger to go in female mode.  (I'd have done the same, given how natural this blogger looks.)  The more this person lives in the female role, the more natural it becomes.  The goal is to be as comfortable in the female persona as in the male persona.  (You'll notice that I'm avoiding pronouns in this entry - when talking about a trans person and presentation mode, I feel uncomfortable saying "he" when referring to a female persona, and vice versa....)  I have a similar goal, but have decided to be relatively stealthy, except when with trans people, or when the situation would benefit by my exposure as being trans.

Hopefully, I can be as much of an inspiration to other trans people as my favorite bloggers have been to me.  (And I hope to inspire them as well, creating a virtuous circle of encouragement and friendship....)

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Have you ever wanted....?

Have you ever wanted to share something of yourself that could be very awkward if it were shared with the wrong person?  This is how I feel about some of the pictures taken of Meg and me this weekend.  Both of us were having a lot of fun - and it shows!  (Meg - if you're reading this, I can't wait to get back to DC soon!)  The pictures on the hotel balcony and the pictures in the museum loo are precious to me, as they show me enjoying myself....

Luckily, I have several friends with whom who I can share this side of me.  One of these friends has helped this side of me break out of its cocoon, releasing the butterfly within.  And she has introduced me to a circle of her friends who are very accepting of me - in whatever mode I present myself. 

Now, I have to start thinking...  When I become part of a stable relationship, how do I first introduce the Marian part of my nature *and* how do I make sure that she is comfortable with me in this mode?  Right now, there is a strong possibility that I will have to deal with this issue sooner than I would have planned.  I have seen initial acceptance trigger a fear in one woman, as she had been burnt by a (now Ex) husband realizing he was gay, causing her to bolt from a relationship.  And I've seen and heard about the reactions of women in other relationships as well.  (Since they are not my stories, I won't tell them here, unless I have permission.)  There is something about being partnered with a trans person that seems to go to the core of a woman's identity, and sometimes it's threatening, and at other times it's not.  Either way, it pays to be very careful how I approach this.

But my thoughts go back to the picture of Meg and me in the loo.  Who'd have thought that we'd have something in common with Captain James Tiberius Kirk and his 5 year mission?   <g>

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

DC - Bonus Posting

I'm finally at home after 5 long hours of traveling.  Travel by rail takes time, but is much more convenient than dealing with the TSA hassles at airports.  And for us femulators, travel is much less threatening with scanned E-Tickets --- I've yet to be asked to show my license (or other ID) on a train.  So, next time I visit DC (and Meg), I'll go en-femme.

With that being said, I promised some photos....

Meg's the pretty one on the left....   You might notice the boats in the background.  My hotel was on the waterfront - and I know to ask for a waterfront room next time. 

Above is Meg all by her lonesome.  Pardon the camera angles, Tammy was holding it....  I'm finding that people are not good at aiming cameras, and I'm grateful that Google has added free photo editing tools to help correct shots taken by us amateurs.

Now here I am with Tammy.  She's a sweetheart, isn't she?  Before checking out of the hotel, we had a long conversation while she was making up a room (there was a party there the night before) and she was asking all about us being trans.  She said - when Meg gets her hip pads... Well - you can figure out the rest.   (And no, we weren't thinking anything dirty.)    Let's just say that Meg will have a perfect figure. 

And above Meg is at the Newseum.   I'm planning on sending this picture to one of my friends, saying "Hier ist eine Freundein und das "Berlin Wall".  (Damn, I can't remember the German word for wall, and the word for against.  It's been 45 years since I studied, so I have a BIG excuse.)  I want to see how long it takes to guess that this scene was posed at a museum. 

And here I am against the same wall.  As I said, Meg's the pretty one.

Now this picture needs some explanation.  Meg told me that in the loo, there were some tiles that contained news report bloopers.  Although I am usually confident when going to the ladies' loo when en-femme, it was comforting for both of us that we had the loo to ourselves and could talk in our normal voices.  This one was one of my favorites.

Above is a picture of us in the ladies' loo.  Other than us taking pictures, wouldn't you say we look like middle aged ladies?   Of course, the opening of the original Star Trek series comes to mind - "to boldly go where no man has gone before...."  (GROAN!!!!!)   But to be serious, a good femulator has to be confident enough to stand on line for the ladies' loo when necessary and project confidence that the femulator is a female.  The minute one loses confidence is the minute one could get into serious trouble in many states. 

Meg and I then went to the National Museum of Natural History and saw the Hope Diamond.  (No, it's not named for Bob and Leslie, although he might have been able to afford it at one time.)  And then to the Smithsonian's Air and Space Museum.  Afterwards, Meg had to leave.  (Meg tells the story on her site - and I love the photo of me there.  And I really do wish she got the word DRAG in the picture - I'd have framed my copy!!!!)

With all the problems I had trying to write my blog over the past few days, I realized that I needed to edit what I was writing to take out all references to pictures.  I'm lucky that I don't wear a blonde wig, or I'd have tried to use the eraser in the picture below....

The last day of my trip was spent in drab.  Unlike Kim's blog, don't ever expect to see me post any pictures of me in drab here. 

I'm still waiting for an occasion where I can wear a formal gown.  Maybe I'll ask Stana what the final nights of Fantasia Fair are like.  Although anything goes (within limits), one still tries to dress appropriately for the occasion.  But it would be nice to have that occasion, so I can gussy myself up, get a good makeover, and look like a grand dame for the ball...

Monday, November 12, 2012

DC - Day 3

Well - Meg and I weren't able to connect today.  She was up to an ungodly awful hour, and had a lot of tasks to do before going to work tomorrow.  Luckily, I had a low energy day planned, as my ankle was killing me last night.

Meg's comments on yeaterday are here:

I really wish she had gotten the picture she was trying to get - it would have been perfect, and I'd have framed a copy for myself.  (Maybe next visit, we can stage it....)

Sadly, I can't post any pictures tonight - the bandwidth issues on Amtrak makes it problematic.  But I hope to post a few shots of Meg and myself in a future post.  All I can say is that Meg makes a darned pretty gal in person. And her beauty is best shown in two photographs at the Newseum: the first being in front of segments taken from the Berlin Wall, and the other in the ladies' loo, where we took photos of each other using the reflections in the mirror. As Tammy (the lady I noted yesterday) said - when Meg gets a pair of hip pads, she'll be one really hot chick (my wording).  As for me, I look like a white "Big Momma" Thornton, and weigh almost as much.  (Download the song "They call me Big Momma"....You'll know why I think that she's a great singer....)

Sunday, November 11, 2012

DC - Day 2

Today, Meg and finally met.  Sadly, we both knew that it would be a short day for us.  Meg was double booked with things to do, and she had to be able to change into her alter ego - her coach was scheduled to turn into a pumpkin earlier than my coach....

Meg met me at my hotel, finding it surprizingly easy to find a spot in DC.  I introduced her to the maid I mentioned in yesterday's blog entry - and she was amazed at how good Meg looks.  (If I weren't hamstrung by this hotel's internet connection, I'd be posting some pictures now.  But they will have to wait until tomorrow.)   We then went to the Newseum, the National Museum of Natural history (where we saw the gems and minerals), and from there to the Air and Space Museum.  Sadly, Meg had to go to take care of her other committments, and she left me off at the International Spy Museum.  (This is a must visit and worth the price of admission.)

I stopped back at my hotel to rest (I was starting to get tired after an unsatisfying dinner in Chinatown) and my ankle started bothering me. After an hour trying to get this internat connection to work, so I could upload some pictures AND send others to Meg, I gave up and went to the Dupont Circle area to browse through an independent bookstore I found.  BIG MISTAKE!!!  My ankle was killing me by the time I returned to my room. 

So, what am I going to do tomorrow?  If Meg and her friend can make it into town, we might be able to do something with little walking.  If not, I hope to get the Segway tour that I keep missing (this time a daytime tour, instead of the evening tour), and avoid having to walk around.  Otherwise, I'll consider doing the Postal Museum (across from Union Station), just so I can stay "near" the hotel (where my bags will be stashed) then getting to Union Station early....

Saturday, November 10, 2012

DC - Day 1

It's amazing that we have a legacy transportation infrastructure that works half as well as it does.  My plan was to catch a Metro North train from my hometown and change at Grand Central for the subway, make an underground connection there, then make it to the Amtrak area of Penn Station within 1 1/2 hours.  I was worried that I wouldn't make the 10:05 from NYP - but I ended up being 20 minutes early!

After a relaxing 3 1/2 hours on Amtrak, my train pulled into Union Station.  (Too bad that the Penn Central didn't envision their former classic station as a modern shopping mall - it would have been a money maker for the firm, and a great way to renew a classic train station.)  My orihinal planwas to take a cab to my hotel, but the line was too long.  So it was off to the Metro I went - and after a little confusion, I found my hotel.  However, my room wasn't yet made ready, and the maid asked me for an hour to get everything ready.  Of course, I ended up killing time - finding a great BBQ cart within spitting distance of the hotel.

45 minutes later, I returned, and the lady was finishing up the room.  We had a nice chat while she was finishing up, and then she left.  After a few minutes, I changed into my female presentation and left my room to explore the town.  Walking down the hall, I saw this lady again, and she didn't recognize me - until I was close, and saw the details of my face.  She dropped her jaw - saying "Damn, you look good!"  We had another great chat, and then I was off to U Street, with an intention to eat at Ben's Chili Bowl.   This didn't happen - Ben's was way too crowded.  I ended up eating at an Ethiopian joint nearby.

Later on, I firmed up my plans for Sunday with Meg - and she'll be over in the morning for some heavy duty tourism.  Sadly, she has logistical requirements which will prevent her from spending the full day with me.  But that will allow me to get in the night time Segway tour that I had planned for tonight.

Monday will be an interesting day.  As much as I want to stay in girl mode, I may have to turn into a pumpkin much earlier than I'd like.  Checkout time at my hotel is 12 pm, and I have a 6 pm train back to NYC.  By the time I get to NYC, it'll be 9:30 pm, and I won't be reaching home until 11:15 pm.  That's a long time to stay in girl mode without being able to deal with beard stubble.  (I can't wait to start laser, then electrolysis for the hairs that laser doesn't work on.)

But back to DC tourism for a moment....  Hopefully, I'll get some good pictures of myself in DC to post here.  But I don't think I'll be showing them to one woman yet.  There's one woman I've been seeing who I thought would never need to know about the Marian side of me.  And until I have "the conversation" about this side of me, she won't see those pictures.  (But it would be nice for her to accept this side of me - and for us to move forward.  Until then, I must take care of the other irons I had in the fire.) 

My question - How should I best break the ice?  It's time to do it, and I want to take care of it before the holidays.

Friday, November 9, 2012

DC Bound

Well, I'm packing and almost ready for my trip to DC.  I haven't been there in about 45 years, so it's virtually a new city to me.  Meg and I have been in contact with each other, and if all goes right, we'll both be able to do some tourism in girl mode.

I've decided to make the trip down in boy mode.  As much as I'd be anonymous within NYC and further South, I often meet people I commute with during the week on my weekend jaunts into NYC.  Even meeting someone I knew wouldn't be too bad - I'm not friends to any of them, just a passing acquaintance.  But my monthly pass would not agree with my presentation, and that might cause some needless embarassment.

I will be taking an evening tour of DC by Segway the day I arrive, if all goes right. Hopefully, I'll be able to get some new pictures of me near some of the monuments.  But I expect to get some good night time photos.. There is so much to see and so little time.  This makes it an inevitability for me that I will return some time next year.  But there will be so many places I want to get to next year while I'm still able to travel.  So I'll have to prioritize my trips, that I can visit San Francisco (again), Seattle, Chicago (again), DC (again), Philadelphia (finally), and Provincetown for Fantasia Fair.

The big question - Will I have a woman with me for some of these trips?  (Hopefully, I'll be in a relationship with a lady who is comfortable with this side of me.)  Or, will I be alone?  It'd be nice to have someone to share my travels with.  Heck, I can say this for sure - I can be the one person who'll have no problems accompanying a partner when shopping, and I understand why a woman can never have enough shoes and handbags.... <g>

Wednesday, November 7, 2012


One thing I've noticed about people who are a smidgen outside the political mainstream is that they are the "Canaries in the political Coal Mine."  GLBT people straddle the line that defines where the mainstream lies.  Most people accept and respect us, as long as we behave responsibly.  In fact, one state looks like it will have elected the first lesbian to the US Senate.  Transgendered people are accepted - especially by the younger generation.

Acceptance was not the case 50 years ago, save for isolated communities.  How many youngsters are familiar with events such as Stonewall, and people such as Christine Jorgensen?  The outsiders of yesterday would be amazed how much things have changed in less than one lifetime.   And yet, I'm not sure they'd be happy, as we have not yet cemented the gains we have made in these 50 years.

This election was framed by a decision best described as: "Do we turn the clock back 50 years?"  For the GOP, we had two candidates who promoted "family values", and who were willing to turn back notable two achievements of the past 4 years - Affordable Health Care, and allowing Gays/Lesbians to openly serve in the military.  For the Democrats, we had two pragmatic candidates who were saying "Let us finish the job we started", even though they could not deliver all the changes they promised in the last election.  (I cite political gridlock for this failure, but that's an aside.)  The Democrats were a strong progressive alternative to a regressive Republican party.

The GLBT population, as a whole, tended to support the Democrats.  The rhetoric from many of the GOP supporters often stated that recognizing gay rights would offend God (it's amazing how many times "God" was cited in their campaigns) and that it was a moral duty to do God's will and stop the moral collapse.  Some of the bombastic agitators were claiming that society would clapse and incur God's wrath if a Democrat was elected.  No wonder why the GLBT population was worried - we know how much things have changed, and we know how quickly they could change back.  It was a no-brainer for the GLBT community to oppose the GOP - self interest dictated support for the Democratic opposition to the GOP.

America is a very polarized society - the geographic line which (for the most part) characterizes the divide between Democrat dominant states and Republican dominant states is the Mason-Dixon line.  Ignoring political parties (which have done a flip flop), the South is still in opposition to the North.  And it is important to note that this region is where fundamentalist conservative organized religion is strongest, and puts the GLBT community most at risk.  It is no coincidence that the loudest voices against according GLBT people with the same rights as straight people come from this region.  And we would be at risk if leaders from this region, the opposite political pole, were to gain power.

One blogger whose blog I regularly read (and who I've met in person) stirred up a hornet's nest of activity when she posted support for Obama based purely on transgender issues.  I was amazed how quickly the conservatives tried to attack this person.  Can they really be serious and expect a person to support policies that would lessen his/her legal rights?  Do they seriously expect that we should be making the sacrifices to support their social goals, when we are at odds with those goals?  Something is seriously wrong when people attack a person for merely stating where they stand on an issue.  No wonder why GLBT people were worried about a GOP win - we remember history, and we remember how quickly people at the edges of the mainstream were sacrificed to keep the mobs in line.

So what should be our goal?  To me, it should be to have as many people from the GLBT communities out ans about in society.  If we stop fearing being out and about, others will see us as normal and treat us with respect.  If we continue to hide, we will not gain that respect.  Does this mean we should rub our GLBT characteristics in everyone's face?  No.  We should let that be a minor characteristic of who we are.  We should keep living normal lives, acting normal (god, I hate that word "normal"), and keep pushing towards the center of the mainstream. 

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

The cat's out of the bag!

Well - my nosy neighbor downstairs has finally seen me leave the house in girl mode.  So I guess I'm finally "OUT" in this neighborhood.   In many ways, this is a relief - especially when I no longer speak with this neighbor.  In the end, does it really matter much what people say about us?  Maybe in our families, and maybe at work.  But our true friends wil accept us for who we are, and the not so true friends will fall away.

With this being said, I drove up North to see a friend for dinner - and had a great time.   I think she was surprized about how far I had come in such a short time.  But I think it was because I might have been laying the groundwork for a while.  She asked me the question about going to the women's room, and I noted - if I act as if I'm an impostor, people will take me as such and I'll get in trouble.  If I act as if I'm supposed to be there, I'll have no trouble, and I'll be able to take care of things in peace.

What does this mean in the grand scheme of things?  My next step will be to work on my voice - that's something which takes away my confidence to speak and interact with people in a normal manner.  Tonight, I saw a video of a trans woman who worked hard to perfect her female voice - and did quite a good job.  There was only a very slight hint of her past voice - and I only noticed it because I was told this lady was trans. 

So there is hope for me yet.... <g>

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Winter's a-coming

OK, so it's the beginning of November.  But they are starting to expect night time temperatures to be in the 30's in my area.  So what's a gal to do if she prefers to be in dresses and skirts?   Yes, it's that time of year again, and it will likely mean being "forced" to wear pants on cold days.  That also means "tucking" - something I hate, because it adds time to my transition rituals.

Although this is a good excuse to expand my wardrobe, I'm not rushing into it.   There are good bargains to be found right now.  But my sense of winter casual style keep pointing to jeans - something I don't wear in my other presentation.  (In boy mode, I wear khakis and similar styles of pants all year round.)  So what would be a good equialent for me in girl mode?  Hopefully, I'll be able to get advice from a couple of natal women I know, to help me flesh out more of this section of my wardrobe on a minimal budget.

Ideas anyone?  .