Thursday, September 21, 2017

A visit with an Ex-Girlfriend.


When I broke up with Ex-GF-M, her apartment was filled with clutter. In many ways, it had much less usable space than mine because of all the clutter in the place. Well, I had the chance to visit her at her house, and saw that things had gotten worse since I dated her.

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My plans for the day were to take a trip into NYC by subway and see another inexpensive Off-Broadway play. By the time I got moving, it was rush hour, and I was losing time in traffic. So I called Ex-GF-M to say hello, as I'd be parking in her neighborhood. By the time I reached the subway station, I knew that I didn't have enough time to get to Times Square and then to the theater on time. Instead, I dropped in on my ex, and again received confirmation that I made the correct decision.

My ex once said that she'd never want an animal in her life, as she didn't want the responsibility to care for the animal when she went away for a weekend. The strong, musky odor of three dogs permeated the apartment when I arrived at her door, and it was all I could do to avoid gagging. The family that hosts game night in Yonkers has one dog, and I have never noticed any aroma caused by the dog or caring for that dog. With this comparison in mind, I wonder if she can handle the responsibilities of caring for her dogs. But that's another issue I do not want to tackle when I see three healthy dogs.

Both my ex and her mother in law share a house.  Even though my ex may have lost some weight since I dated her, she no longer goes to the upstairs apartment she once lived in. Instead, she lives in the downstairs apartment with her mother in law, where one of them sleeps on the couch while the other sleeps in the bedroom.  I can't see the two of them living in the sama apartment, but they do. It's probably a result of my ex having major swelling of her legs and ankles, as if she has an untreated disease attacking her lower limbs.

As much as I can still make my ex laugh, I see a certain sadness in her.  When she said that she was dating a visually impaired man (read "seeing eye dog" blind), I thought of a very nasty joke that I didn't use. Instead, I said that he sounds like the type of man who could read the story of your life in Braille. And she smiled when she heard that, as she liked the touch of his hands on her body.

It was a good, but unplanned, visit. She sees me as female now, and is comfortable with this side of me. Although I date women, I know that I will never date this woman again - and I'm glad. It's a chapter in my life that's over, and it's one that taught me that I need to process each breakup before moving on to the next relationship.




Wednesday, September 20, 2017

My schedule seems to be sorting itself out.


The above picture illustrates how I felt when I first started to look at my schedule for this week. The weekdays looked something like this:
  1. Monday: Lili- All Day
  2. Tuesday: Either an Off Broadway Play or a 7:00 Ballgame.
  3. Wednesday: Possible 1:00 Ballgame and/or PMI Networking meeting.
  4. Thursday: Volunteering, Dinner with RO, Game Night.
  5. Friday: Alternate date for Volunteering.  
The catch - Wednesday, Thursday or Friday would have to be preempted for dinner with my aunt and uncle who were coming in from the coast, and the whole family (including my dad) would be there. This would make it impossible for me to go to this month's PMI meeting OR to go to this week's game night, and would force me to reschedule dinner with RO and my weekly volunteering stint at the GLBT Center.

Well, this morning I received a call from my brother. My dad had fallen and fractured his hip while walking (with assistance) at the nursing home. He was rushed to the hospital, and was being operated on today. There goes our change to have everyone in the family sitting at the same dinner table. My uncle mentioned that he'd like to see us on Friday for dinner. This was the perfect day for me, as it allowed me the greatest flexibility for the other days in the week. So I could now go to the ballgame on Wednesday, see RO on Thursday, and take care of a lot of business on Long Island on Friday.

Yesterday, I showed Lili the house in which I grew up. On Friday, I will need to stop by the insurance agent who services my dad's homeowner's policy and see what has to be done to transfer the coverage to us. Although my dad retains a life interest in the family home, we do not want for him (read: the nursing home) to get the proceeds from insurance if anything were to happen to the house.

I still have to figure out what my weekend plans are going to look like. GFJ is going to want a piece of my time as well as the Cat Lady. Since GFJ hasn't been sleeping over, I can schedule each of these ladies for their own days. But what happens with the other women from POF that I've talked with?  I'd like to see the lady from Rye again, and see a lady from New Jersey and from White Plains, each for the first time.  I figure that New Jersey would be a day time date, so that could be scheduled for the middle of the week (she is retired). But Rye and White Plains would need to be evening or weekend dates. AARGH!  At least, I have an excuse to delay things a little.... 

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Little Miss Piggy.... ME!


Before I go too far with the title of this post, I'd like to say that my irregular sleep patterns of late have influenced when and how much I have been eating. And I feel that breaking out of bad habits will take a little bit of thought and effort. Given that the one thing on my list of things to do today was to accompany Lili to consult with a plastic surgeon for a future facelift, I knew I had to get moving earlier than usual - and in Mario mode.

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I had my alarms set to wake me by 10 am, allowing me to be ready by noon. Around 9:30, Lili called, and she told me that she'd be picking me up at noon.  Normally, I might have taken a nap, knowing that I could quickly get ready as Mario. But I stayed awake. When I called Lili, SHE had fallen back to sleep, and she was grateful that I woke her up in time to make it to the surgeon.

When she picked me up, Lili thought that she had set her GPS to take her to Smithtown and to the surgeon. Well, she accidentally set the GPS to take her to her son's place, and we were lucky that I noticed this before we wasted a lot of time going the wrong way. (That's why I double check most of the planned route before trusting my phone's GPS and associated trip routing.) What I didn't mention so far is that Lili picked up way too much food eat herself, and way too much for me to snack on while she drove. And I made the mistake of eating the food, feeling bloated all the way to the surgeon's office.

We got to the surgeon's office early, and this allowed Lili enough time to fill out paperwork before being called in to see the surgeon. Once she was called in, the consult must have taken about an hour and a half, as I was ready to fall asleep sitting up in the chair. Lili came out and told me that the surgeon would be able to do her face, but work on her torso would be handled by a different surgeon. (Lili wants breast implants to refill the sacs depleted by her loss of fat, and some skin taken off her arms so that she can look nice in sleeveless outfits.) So I know who I'll be with some time in October....

After we were done with the surgeon's office, it was time to show Lili where I grew up. She liked the place, noting that it must have been a nice house to grow up in.  I didn't go into the bad memories. Instead, I directed her to the nearby diner, so that we could get something to eat. While in my old neighborhood, she kept getting calls from her brother regarding work being done on her family homestead to prepare it for sale. And she has more problems than my brother and I had getting our house ready for renting, as the house was in worse shape when she and her siblings got control of it.  This will likely cause her to miss the deadline for putting the house on the market.  Month-end is viable, but not mid-month.  Lili has not yet seen this reality. She will by the end of the week....

On the way home, Lili wondered why I didn't invite her out to do things that I do with other people. I mentioned that HWV and I are looking soon to go out dressed to the nines, noting that Lili doesn't like to do this. Lili mentioned that she likes to go to plays. I then noted that HWV and I are willing to take the chance that a 20@20 deal will not be available, something Lili wouldn't do. We are willing to take the money we save on tickets and apply it to a nice meal. (HWV and I can both eat and drink to our heart's content, something that Lili can no longer do.) At this point, Lili realized that she wouldn't have enjoyed an activity that I enjoy and pursued this line of conversation no longer.

As for me, I'm glad I am home. I have yet to decide whether I'm going to the ball game tomorrow. And it will likely be a last minute decision.....



Monday, September 18, 2017

A day with HWV and the Curvy Widow


The above picture is of the woman whose widowhood has been turned into a very enjoyable play, "The Curvy Widow." It's one of those plays that run Off-Broadway which more than justify the effort of going into NYC for the 20 @ 20 deal.

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Today's plans called for me to meet HWV at 12:30 (I was slightly late) and drive down to NYC for a 3:00 showing of The Curvy Widow.  My timing was almost perfect until we reached Manhattan, and then the West Side Drive fouled us up with a bumper to bumper traffic jam.  Luckily, I was able to bail out to Riverside Drive and slowly ooze my down to the theater district.

Arriving at our (now) usual parking lot, we walked 8 blocks to the theater - arriving 5 minutes before the 20@20 deal was to begin. So we got on the line and waited for "our" box office to open. After a short wait, we were in the theater and in our seats. Then the play began. This is one of those rare times I enjoyed going to a musical - the songs advanced the plot (not too heavy), and had a humorous touch to them.  If you didn't know that this play was based on the above woman's dating as a widow, you might swear that it was fiction. But the New York Times validated her claim that she was dating 6 married men at once (1 for each day of the week, with a day off for rest). Although HWV wasn't originally interested in the "Talkback" with the author after the show, she found it interesting - especially when audience members were asking about this woman's experiences in real life.

After the show, we went to a nice restaurant to eat, ordering from the prix fixe menu with an extra appetizer and drink to give us sustenance. Over dinner, she noted that sooner of later, I'll have to fish or cut bait in regard to living as Marian or Mario (she thought I was happier as Marian) and only then look for romance.  She might be right, but I have to live my life my way, and make my own decisions with the rewards or consequences thereof.  Before we left the restaurant, we both ordered espresso with anisette.  Well, we got our espresso with with a shot of alcohol, but the fellow brought us shots of Hennesey and not Anisette.  Not a bad way to end our drinking for the day!

The drive home was uneventful, and I dropped her off around 9:30.  And then it was off to the local Shoprite for food.  If only I could gotten there earlier in the day to get some Lobster for dinner....







Sunday, September 17, 2017

Quickie: I didn't do a darned thing I planned to, and I'm glad about it.


Lately, I've been relaxing at my computer, experimenting with this Gravity simulation put out my the MSTMF Lab. It doesn't take much thought, and it's fun to create binary systems with orbiting planets.  Now if I could only get to a third level of orbits, I'd have this simulation down pat.  There is no score involved. Instead, it's a meditative pleasure using someone else's serious work.

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I had set my alarm clock to go off early enough to have the option of going to Governor's Island to see Noah Diamond's Marx Brothers presentation. This is the same man who revived "I'll Say She Is" for the NYC Fringe festival. However, after a night of poor sleep, I decided to get back under the covers and relax for the rest of the day.

Later on, I had the option of seeing "Lili Marlene" as part of the 20 @ 20 Off-Broadway specials. And again, the option of not getting dressed felt so much more comfortable, especially when I didn't feel like spending money I didn't have enough of. So again, I stayed home for the day.

One thing of note. Since the Hurricane hitting Florida would make Tampa Bay's 3 game set against the Yankees unplayable at home, both teams have agreed to play this set at Citi Field. And, for $25 per seat, I suggested to my brother that he play hooky and come with me to the baseball game.  Alas, he has way too many responsibilities to do so.  So it looks like I might end up going alone to see a game.  (And you'll likely see this post after this 3 game set has been played.)

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Tomorrow's a day in NYC with HWV to see "The Curvy Widow".  This looks like fun, and I'll tell all about it after the show....



Saturday, September 16, 2017

"OM" is where the heart is.


There were several titles I was considering for today's post, and one of them was even more corny than the one I chose: "There is no place like 'OM'". And given one of the exhibits, it would have been equally appropriate.

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I had only one thing on my "to do" list today, and this was to see my niece in NYC, and visit the Rubin Museum. And this almost didn't happen, but I'm glad it did.

Waking up this morning, I had to repeat my usual Thursday procedure for when the cleaning lady is expected. If I'm going out as Marian, get myself shaved, showered, made up, dressed, and out the door before the cleaning lady's expected arrival. Unlike most "Cleaning Lady" days, I had to call her to see what her schedule would be, so that I could be dressed as Mario if she were to come early in the day.

Calling my cleaning lady, I found out that she would be over late in the afternoon if it were possible to come today, and if not, to expect her next Thursday. So I got myself ready, packed away key traces of Marian, and was out the door by 12:30 pm.  The first thing I did was to get a quick bite to eat. And then I tried to take a nap in my car.  Although I couldn't get completely unconscious, I was able to rest enough to be able to be fully awake for the remainder of the day.

To kill time, I decided to go window shopping at The Avenue in Co-Op City.  They had a couple of Autumnal dresses that I liked (not yet visible on their online site). However, I decided not to buy them, knowing that I'd have a $60+ bill for dinner with my niece tonight, a possible $40 outlay seeing the Cat Lady tomorrow, a $100 outlay seeing HWV on Sunday, and another $150 out of pocket when my Uncle comes in from California next week.  Ouch! Instead, I decided to kill a little more time by going to the Bagel Cafe next door. As I was about to leave the Bagel Cafe, I had a need to take a bio break. Unfortunately, the door was locked.  Given that I don't know how clean the loo was in this place, I gambled on holding my fluids until I got to the museum.

Luckily, I was able to find a parking spot about 2 short blocks from the subway station, and I hopped on the train. And it was then that I received a text from my niece to suggest that we meet next week because she was running late at work.  After about 15 minutes of texting back and forth, we agreed to meet at the museum even though she was going to be a little late.  This was the best decision either of us could have made, given the conversation we would have later on.

I arrived at the Rubin Museum shortly after 6, and proceeded to the Ladies' Room to take care of important business. Around 6:30, my niece arrived, and we proceeded to the top floor of the museum for an aural exhibit. One of the spaces had a recording of many people chanting "OM" and explained how that one sound related to Tibetan Buddhism. And that's where I got the above picture of my niece who had already been listening to the chant for about 5 minutes.  Both of us said that we could easily come to the museum just to listen to that chant for several hours.

We toured the museum, and stopped in the Tibetan Buddhist Shrine Room to listen to the docent talk about the exhibit. It was very informative, but we moved on before the talk was over. By the time we were done at the museum, it was after 8:30, and we ended up going to dinner at one of my favorite Szechwan restaurants, Legend.  And it was there, in spite of the noise around us, that we had the chat that made the trip worthwhile for both of us.

I won't go into many of the details about our conversation, but family sexual issues were discussed in a "matter of fact" way.  (All I will say is that we were NOT talking about the act itself, but talking about how sex and its ramifications has affected us for 3 generations.) We also found another common interest between the two of us - a love for movies. And she loves one of my favorite "it's so bad, it's good" flicks - Killer Klowns from Outer Space. This is when I told her about the Alamo Drafthouse in Yonkers. You can bet that she'll be a regular there when worthwhile films are playing.

By the time we were done with dinner, it was close to 10:30, and we headed to the subway. She got off at Penn Station, while I took the line to the Bronx. Getting off at my stop, I saw that Ex-GF-M's lights were on. But there was no way I was going to say hello that late at night. So I ended up driving home to find an apartment which had not yet been visited by the cleaning lady.

Alas, I'll have to juggle my Mario/Marian schedule again next week....


Friday, September 15, 2017

Wednesday and Thursday - The need for sleep finally caught up with me.


Schedule changes are not uncommon for me these days, and I was able to squeeze in a few things over the course of a few texts with people I haven't seen in a while. In the most recent case, I was able to figure out a way to schedule an afternoon with HWA, a day with HWV in NYC, an evening with RO, an evening with Sherry, an evening at the museum with my niece, and dinner with BXM and her new boyfriend. Some of these dates are subject to change, as my uncle is coming in from the coast to visit friends and family late next week. So I expect that I'll be blowing off a networking dinner in NYC to fit the key elements of my social life into my schedule.

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Hump Day came, and it was time to see HWA. Part of me wanted to blow this off. But HWA is a good person, and someone who both enjoys my company and who accepts me both as Marian and as Mario. So I walked over to her place around 2:30, and we chatted until sometime after 6 pm.  I don't have too much to say about this chat, as the time went very quickly, and it was something I needed to do to keep myself from becoming a hermit.

Next, it was off to see BXM and her boyfriend. It was still raining on the way down, and I didn't know how tired I really was. (I've been living with 5 hours of good sleep for the past few nights, and though I've felt rested, I knew I needed to get to bed earlier for a better sleep.) It took me about 15 minutes to find a parking spot in Riverdale, but it could have been worse. The rain was just a drizzle by the time I found my spot, and I had a pleasant downhill walk to the restaurant.

We've eaten at this restaurant before, and I'll never be able to remember the name of the place.  (It's an Irish name that doesn't stick in my head.) BXM and her boyfriend were already at the table when I got there, and I proceeded to sit down and chat.  BXM told me that her boyfriend is a little WASPish, and very pleasant to be with.  If I were a cisgender female with an interest in men, I could go for someone like him.  Alas, I'm a transgal, with an interest in females. BXM mentioned all the problems she has been having with her dad and his dementia, and this made me thankful that my dad is in a good place of mind these days.

Normally, having one or two drinks doesn't get to me. But when one is tired, things can be quite different. In this case, I was feeling affected by the first glass of wine, and was starting to feel very tired by the second glass of wine. As much as I wanted to stay with BXM and her boyfriend, I wanted to go home and sleep. Driving home, I was feeling very tired, and considered pulling over for a nap. But I continued on, and was grateful to have made it home in one piece and without any interference from law enforcement.

Within 15 minutes of getting home, I passed out for 3 hours or so, and was wide awake afterward. So it was off to clean the apartment, as the cleaning lady was scheduled to come over the next day.

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Thursday can be a very busy day or a very lazy day. It's never somewhere in between these days. In this case, I rushed to clean up the apartment for an expected visit from the cleaning lady.  Unfortunately, she didn't come today, and I will have to call her tomorrow morning to check when her next visit will be.

Once I finished cleaning things up, I loaded my car with whatever I could take downstairs in a single trip and brought it to the GLBT center. It was nice to get another receipt for charitable donations. But the next donation will be for a box of clothes and some more books. I only wish that I started this task while I was employed and had a higher tax bracket, so that the tax deductions would be more valuable.

Work at the GLBT center didn't keep me that busy today, but it got in the way of me going to the Drafthouse theater to see a new movie for only $5.00. It's not a big deal. When I finally got out of the center, I took a slow drive down to The Avenue, and chatted with one of the salesladies for a few minutes.  She's always glad to see me, and I think it is more her personality than mine.

Eventually, I made it down to game night, and had the usual good time.  Unlike most nights, I was on the winning team for a change for one of the games. And we were going strong until shortly before midnight. Even though I was talking with GFJ all the way home, I have only a fuzzy recall of passing through the construction zone just North of route 287.  The need for sleep must still be there, even though I was much more alert than I was the night before.

After making it home, I brought a lot of stuff upstairs including distilled water, a new door handle/lock mechanism for my bathroom door, some single serve brownies in a cup mix, and some chain extenders for necklaces I wear. As I walked up the steps, I became more alert, and figured that I'd change the door handle while I was reasonably awake. Although I could have finished the job, I decided to hold off on one subtask which required the use of a hammer and could annoy my neighbors with a single loud noise.

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Next week, I have no definite idea of where I'll be on Thursday.  Will I be having dinner with my family on Long Island?  Will I be seeing RO?  Or, will I be at Game Night as usual?  I won't have an answer to this until the weekend at the earliest.  Life is sure interesting!